


Made of Most Beautiful Things

by deathbycoldopen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Childhood Friends, Creature Castiel, Cursed Sam, Dark Fairy Tale Elements, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2014, Fae & Fairies, John Winchester Being an Asshole, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 14:38:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 40,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2432420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathbycoldopen/pseuds/deathbycoldopen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every year, the fae come to the human world and brand five infants with the Mark of the Fae.  Eighteen years later, those five humans disappear, some leaving behind the bloody remains of their loved ones, others vanishing without a single trace.  Even after hundreds of years of this, nobody knows what happens to the Marked once they disappear, or why the fae are stealing humans.  All that anyone knows is that no one can stop it; the only thing to do is wait for the clock to count down.</p><p>It’s been eighteen years since a fae burned a Mark into Sam’s forehead, and Dean still doesn’t know how to save his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Made of Most Beautiful Things

**Author's Note:**

> [A 2014 DCBB](http://deancasbigbang.livejournal.com/)  
>  Art by [sherryandgin](http://sherryandgin.tumblr.com/)  
> [Fic Masterpost](http://deancasbigbang.livejournal.com/173185.html)  
> [Art Masterpost](http://deathbycoldopen.livejournal.com/885.html)
> 
> Take the Fair Face of Woman, and Gently Suspending, With Butterflies, Flowers, and Jewels Attending, Thus Your Fairy is Made of Most Beautiful Things – [Sophie Gengembre Anderson](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairy#mediaviewer/File:SophieAndersonTakethefairfaceofWoman.jpg)

 

  

* * *

 

_Dear Dean,_

_I saw one tonight._

_I'm staying at a village in St. Mark's Pass for the night.  Night falls faster here in the northern mountains than I'm used to, so I found myself compelled to rest instead of continuing on my way to the wise man rumored to live nearby.  I thought the locals here were rather odd; they hung charms and herbs on windows and door frames, and used a kind of chalk to draw a circle all around the village as the sun began to set.  They warned me not to leave the "protection" of the circle after the sun had fallen behind the mountains, but they refused to explain why not when I asked.  I dismissed their warnings as mere superstition, even knowing what I know.  I should have realized that they knew better than I do what dangers lurk in these mountains._

_I was too restless to stay indoors, so I wandered out under the stars.  It must have been fate that guided my steps, though, for I would not have left the unfamiliar path otherwise.  Some unknown urge spurred me toward an outcropping of rock illuminated by the dim light of the moon.  When I reached it, however, I found that it wasn't a natural formation at all, but rather ancient ruins laid out in a perfect circle.  The discovery thrilled me, causing my judgement to waver.  Without thinking, I stepped inside the circle to examine it more closely, and I was immediately greeted by a flash of blue-white light._

_When I could see again in the darkness, a fae was standing before me._

_I do not know if I could ever describe the fae and do justice to its unearthly beauty.  It was beautiful, in the way that a knife is beautiful, shining in the light just before it slides into your skin.  It was shaped like a man, and perhaps in daylight it might have passed as one; the darkness revealed the shifting shadow and light that moved under its skin in patterns like lightning and fire.  There were colors, too, colors that shimmered and disappeared and flickered in the spaces around the creature, illuminating its predatory smile as it looked at me.  Its eyes, though, they illuminated themselves.  They glinted and shone like black opals and captured moonlight._

_We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, the creature and I.  I was unarmed, and the fae was faster and stronger than me.  There was no chance for me to escape.  My life was over, my quest failed before it had even begun, Sam still cursed and Mary still unavenged- but, to my surprise, instead of moving in for the kill, the creature merely laughed, sudden and piercing._

_"Don't worry, my good sir," the fae said, bowing to me.  Its movements were quick, lithe, and graceful; they brought to mind the dancing of a spark down a line of gunpowder.  "I have better things to do tonight than to kill one insignificant human wandering in the night."  It stepped closer to me, and I do not know what spell it had lain upon me, for I could not bring myself to step away.  I was too entranced by the dancing starlight and rivers of wildfire that burned in its voice.  "Were it any other night, I would not be so merciful," the fae continued.  "Alas, Awntiad requires children, not men."  It raised a hand to the air near my face, so close to my skin that I could feel the unnatural heat of it.  "But even tonight, I am not so merciful that I will let such a foolish human free without teaching it a lesson," it said, and pressed its hand to my cheek._

_There are no words to describe the agony of its touch.  Even now, with the wound bandaged and treated, it burns so badly that I can hardly think.  The fae may look like starlight and shadows dancing on smoke, but their touch bears the heat of a thousand suns searing through flesh.  Perhaps that touch is what it’s like to be struck by lightning; or perhaps there is no comparison, for the fae are the fae and nothing else, and to attempt to describe their evil is fruitless._

_I have to wonder if that burning touch is what branded Sam's forehead as a baby, if that fire was what consumed my Mary from the inside out._

_When the pain receded enough to allow me to see once more, the fae was gone.  Though I had left the village shortly after sunset, the sun had begun to rise again, as if hours had passed rather than mere minutes.  And though the mountains are still locked in the harsh grip of winter, the ground around me was lush with flowers, the air as warm as a summer's day._

_I will stay in the village for a few more days while I recover from the encounter, before continuing on my journey to the wise man.  Perhaps it will be futile, and he will know nothing; but still, I know more now than I did before.  I know that the fae have immense power, enough to entrance even a man sworn to vengeance, and that even their mercy comes with a price almost too high to bear.  My determination to find some defense against them has increased after last night.  I will make them regret leaving me alive._

_Look after Sammy.  I will be home in a month or two._

_Your father,_

_John_

* * *

**1\. NOW**

The little hand ticked steadily around the clock.  It edged closer and closer to midnight, too fast, too fast.  Eighteen years and the time had still gone by too fast, too choked by what was to come to even properly take root.  Eighteen years, and they were down to just ten minutes.  Where was the justice in that?

Well, nowhere.  That was the point.  Justice had no part in any of this.  Not justice, fairness, family love, grief.  The only smart thing left to bet on was revenge.

Dean had never claimed to be a smart man.

“So I guess this is it,” Sam said quietly.  He twisted his fingers together slowly, glancing at the clock.  Someone who didn’t know him might think he was calmly calculating all the possible outcomes of the night, every angle and strategy that might help him.  Dean knew his brother better than that.  He could see the tension straining the muscles in his shoulders, the whiteness of his knuckles as he gripped his own fingers.  He didn’t need Sam to shift and confess, “Dean, I’m scared.”

Dean swallowed and looked down at his own hands.  “I know, Sammy,” he said.  “It’s gonna be okay though, you know that right?”

“How?” Sam said, getting to his feet and starting to pace.  His long frame, even longer now after his latest growth spurt, barely fit inside the confined space of his childhood bedroom.  Maybe if they had more time than a mere eighteen years, Sam might have moved to a larger bedroom, one where he actually fit.  As it was, he took three steps and had to turn around again, trapped inside the stone walls.  “Dean, we don’t even know what’s going to happen to me once I go in.  It could be that I walk inside and they just kill me on the spot!  Or I could end up going on a rampage or something, and how is that going to be okay?”

“Well, we do know that _that_ isn’t gonna happen,” Dean pointed out.  “And you know I’m not about to let you face this on your own.  I have a plan.”

“Right,” Sam said with a snort.  “Yeah, I’m sure you and dad came up with something great right at the last second.”

Dean swallowed.  Sam seemed to realize what he’d just said, because he shot an apologetic glance at him and sat down again.

“I didn’t mean that,” he said quietly.  He chewed on a fingernail and his gaze drifted into space, his face paler than Dean had ever seen it.  “Maybe…” Sam murmured.  “Maybe it’s for the best.”

Dean gaped at him.  “Sam-” he began, but his brother cut him off, leaning forward intently.

“It’s not that I’m- I’m _looking forward_ to it or anything.  I mean, I am scared.  I’ve always been scared.  But it also… it feels _right_ , you know?  Like it was meant to be.”

Dean felt his stomach clench, bile rising in his throat at those words.  If it was meant to be, then Sam’s life, _both_ of their lives, had meant nothing.  If it was meant to be then Dean was worth nothing, because what was he without Sam?  What did that make him if he couldn’t even save his brother?

“Mom died trying to protect me,” Sam said quietly.  “She died because of me, and it didn’t even make a difference.  I’m still cursed even with everything she did for me, and what dad did, and you…  Once I’m gone, maybe everything can go back to what it should be.  You’ll finally have the chance to live a normal life.  Marry Lisa, have some kids, run the castle.  Be free.”

“And you think I’ll be able to do all that when you’re dead?” Dean snapped.  “You think I’ll be able to live with myself when you’re gone?  This whole mess is on me, Sam, not you.  I should have been able to protect you, _that’s_ my normal life.  I should have been able to find out how to break this stupid thing, or at least find out what the hell will happen to you, I should have-”  Cas.  He should have had the courage to ask Cas what was waiting for Sam on the other side, back when he’d had the chance.  Back before he’d burned that bridge and walked away.

Sam laughed, a sharp, dry thing that withered and died before it had even left his lips.  “I guess guilt must be a family trait,” he said.

Dean opened his mouth to say that it wasn’t guilt that made him say that; it was fact, cold, hard and painful.  But he changed his mind and nodded instead.  Sam had three minutes left on this earth.  They shouldn’t spend that time bickering.

The seconds ticked by.  It was all Dean could do to keep from grabbing the clock off the mantle and hurling it off the highest turret in the castle.  Two minutes now.  One and a half.  One minute.

“You should go,” Sam said.  His voice was quiet and hoarse, as if he hadn’t spoken in decades.  When Dean glanced at him, he could see the tension in Sam’s jaw, like he was holding something back.  “I can feel it starting, and I don’t want-”  He swallowed.  Beads of sweat had appeared on his forehead.  “We both know what’ll happen to you if you stick around.”

Dean’s breath caught in his throat.  He nodded and stood, hesitating before moving to the door.  Maybe he should say something, have one last moment with Sam before time swept them both along into whatever inevitability was waiting for them on the other side of midnight.  But there weren’t words for something like this.  Death might have been easier, rather than this vast unknown staring them down, choking them both.

“Dean-” Sam said, then stopped.  Dean waited in the doorway as the precious seconds ticked by.  Sam swallowed and gave him a weak smile.  “Good luck,” he said.

“Yeah,” Dean said, and it wasn’t enough, not nearly enough, but somehow it felt like the right thing to say anyway.  “You too.”

The door swung shut just as the clock struck midnight.

The light that shone through the cracks around the doorframe was faint, familiar, and steadily growing brighter.  Dean could hear Sam’s breathing speeding up in response, changing rhythm and tone until it didn’t even sound like Sam.  Even more than the burning light or the faint strains of an unearthly music seeping out to wrap insidiously around his brother, the sound of Sam’s breath turning into someone else’s was enough to make the hairs stand up on the back of Dean’s neck.

The light shone brighter and brighter, and the music grew louder, loud enough that Dean could tell that it was made from no instruments that he knew of.  Dean swallowed and bent down to grab the cloak and intricately engraved metal ball that he’d hidden here earlier.  He didn’t have much time.  Sam could disappear at any moment, and Dean wouldn’t be there to look after him.

He threw the cloak around his shoulders and stepped back inside the room.

Sam stood in front of what looked like a door edged in light, carved into the solid stone wall.  His eyes were blank as he stared at the emerging portal, the mark on his forehead burning brightly in response to its master’s call.  The portal opened slowly without any prompting, revealing nothing but blue-white light, too bright to be anything other than a bolt of lightning frozen in time.

Dean moved to stand next to Sam, his stomach churning.  Sam’s eyes didn’t waver from the portal; the cloak was working, then.  The question remained whether it would work on anyone not caught in the thrall of a curse burning its way through their skin.

The portal opened fully.  Sam stepped forward without hesitation, an almost rapturous expression on his face.  Dean followed half a beat behind, looking around nervously.  No, forget nervous.  He was terrified.

The portal slammed shut behind them, leaving them nowhere to go but forward.  Forward, deep into the realm of the fae.

* * *

**_Excerpt from_ ** **_The History of Creation_ ** **_as told by Michael_ **

_When Father Cosmos and Mother Earth saw that their work was beautiful, they rejoiced, for there is no joy to be found in a troubled universe.  But they became somber again when they realized there was no one but themselves to appreciate the beauty they had created.  Animals there were aplenty, but from the dumb beasts there came no awe, no worship, for the animals lived but did not see.  And so our Parents in their wisdom agreed to make a new creature, one who would understand the glory of the universe, and praise them for their creation._

_But when it became time for them to create these new creatures, Father Cosmos and Mother Earth found themselves in disagreement.  For while Father Cosmos would create something entirely new out of leftover stardust and smoke, Mother Earth favored the dumb beasts that were her children, and wanted yet more of them.  They argued, and the universe trembled; but at least they agreed that they would create both, and have no more conflict between them.  And so the fae and the humans were born._

_At first, fae and humanity shared the bounty of Mother Earth and Father Cosmos peacefully.  They worshipped their Mother and Father, and celebrated the wonders of the universe through every day and every night.  They were creatures who saw and understood, and our Parents were well pleased with them._

_With time, however, the true nature of humanity began to show, for as Father Cosmos had warned, you cannot make a beast anything other than a beast.  They grew lazy in their worship and celebration, and began to complain rather than accepting the gifts their Mother gave them.  Yet still Mother Earth defended her children, even as both fae and Father Cosmos alike warned her of the trouble brewing.  And so when the humans began to attack the earth rather than celebrating it, their Mother was too astonished to do anything to stop them._

_Father Cosmos then sent the fae to the humans, hopeful that the kinship between the two would be enough to calm humanity.  To his shock and sadness, however, the humans turned on the fae, slaughtering them by the thousands despite all that he did to help his children.  Finally, Father Cosmos gathered the fae into his arms and took them away from the violence, safe in another universe of his own making.  He gave them a new world to live in, with all the splendor he could create; but without the help of Mother Earth, the world of the fae could never imitate the glory of their true home.  Loathe to cut the fae away from the earth completely, Father Cosmos left open portals from one realm to the other; but to keep his children safe, he hid the portals from human eyes, and forbade the fae from using them except at night, when the humans were asleep._

_Overcome with grief, Father Cosmos and Mother Earth distanced themselves from their creations.  No longer did they dance with their children or sing them them to sleep, though the fae still dance and sing in the hopes that our Parents will one day return to us.  When that day comes, with our Parents by our side and our strength returned to us, perhaps we will be able to take our home back from the violent beasts at last._

* * *

**2\. THEN**

No matter how many years passed, dulling thought and memory and emotion, Dean could never forget the night when the fae first touched their lives.  The night everything changed.

It was the smell that he remembered the most clearly.

The first whiff of smoke that drew him out of his bed, tired and confused.  The smell of ozone and rain, a lightning storm raising the hair on his arms, leading him down the dark hall to the nursery where he knew he’d find his mother, ready to comfort him.  The wave of a stronger, less identifiable scent as he opened the door and saw the dark shadow crackling with flashes of color standing over his brother’s crib.  A wafting breeze filled with his mother’s clean, warm smell as she ran to protect Sammy.

The smell of burning flesh as flames burst from the fae’s outstretched hand to envelop Mary Winchester.

He remembered screams.  His mother’s, his own, maybe even the fae’s, he didn’t know.  He remembered the way his father ran past him without even seeing him, too desperate and scared in the face of tragedy to notice him.  He remembered the new weight in his arms when John burst out of the burning room and passed him his baby brother before going back inside, vainly trying to save the woman who was already dead.  He remembered stumbling outside, murmuring, “It’s okay Sammy,” in a shaky imitation of what mom would say to him when he was scared.  He remembered looking down at the bundle in his arms and seeing for the first time the Mark of the Fae burned into Sam’s forehead.

The next few days were blurred and jumbled in his memory, a haze of long and silent hours, tears dripping unnoticed down dazed faces, scorched walls and the stale smell of smoke filling the halls of the castle.  He’d clung to Sam in those endless, grief-filled days, the only constant in his life now.  Dad had given him Sam so that he could save him; and that was what Dean was going to do.

He clutched Sam even tighter to his chest four days after the fire as he watched dad bustling around the courtyard, readying his horse for a long journey.  Finally, John turned to Dean, kneeling next to his two sons, the broken Winchester family.

“Look after Sammy while I’m gone,” he told Dean.  Dean nodded- he already knew what his job was.  “I have to find a way to get those sons of bitches that did this to us, and that means that you’re the lord of the castle until I get back.  So do your best to protect it, and protect your brother, alright?”

“Yes, daddy.”

John kissed Sam’s forehead and ruffled Dean’s hair.  “That’s my little hero,” he said.

Dean watched as his dad galloped off on the first of many quests seeking vengeance against the fae.  He clutched Sam close to his chest, whispering, “It’s okay, Sammy.”  Just like Mary Winchester used to say.

* * *

**_ Awntiad  (Night of the Temptation) by Bessiel  _ **

_Their footsteps dance on fields of burning ice,_  
_our dreams of diamond clouds around them grow._  
_A fevered waltz to us their souls entice,_  
_our blood to tempt, blue flames within we sow._

_We weave our words to flow beneath their skin_  
_and slip our wondrous music in their ears._  
_Our Awntiad can now at last begin,_  
_the festival of grace, the midnight of their fears._

_Sing they of evil tempters wild and cold,_  
_yet eager souls all come to grant their lives_  
_to dance forever, never growing old,_  
_the gift towards which humanity still strives._

_ They claim their fear of fae is justified;  
their minds are clear, and never have they lied.  _

* * *

**3\. NOW**

Sam strode forward confidently, as if he’d been stepping down the slippery stone steps all his life.  Dean could barely keep up with him, his feet occasionally skidding out from underneath him and sending him stumbling far too close to the darkened edge of the stairs.

It should have been a relief that Sam didn’t hear anything when Dean stumbled.  Instead, it just sent a shiver of fear down Dean’s spine.  Sam, the real Sam, would have noticed him even before they entered the portal, cloak or no.  The fact that his gaze never wavered from the emptiness in front of them, even after Dean tripped and a curse slipped out before he could stop himself, was enough to make Dean start to panic.

He distracted himself from his sudden dread by looking around, only to be met with… nothing.  The ancient stairs were lit perfectly by what seemed to be dancing firelight, and yet there was no sign of the source.  The light cut off abruptly only a few feet in front of them and behind them, leaving them in a bubble of light surrounded by blackness.  When Dean got up the courage to peer over the side of the stairs, his head reeled with sudden vertigo.  The edge of the stairs was perfectly sheer, dropping into darkness so pure that it made Dean feel sick to look at it.  Maybe it was his imagination, but he thought he could feel the darkness reaching out to him, pushing against their little circle of light with malicious determination.  He tried not to wonder what would happen to them if the mysterious fire lighting their steps were to somehow go out, leaving them surrounded by that absolute nothingness.

The stairs went on and on and on without any sign of stopping.  Dean felt his knees beginning to creak with each step downward, trembling slightly with the strain of so many steps.  He lost track of time as they walked down, down, down into nothingness.  It felt like years.

Maybe this was the fate that awaited the Marked.  No enemies to fight, no changes to the darkness swallowing them whole, no hope of breaking free.  Dean couldn’t protect his brother from this.  Not from endless darkness and endless stone steps.

The change in light came on so gradually that Dean didn’t notice it at first.  He had resigned himself to trudging behind Sam forever, lost in nothingness and prey to the predatory darkness nipping at their heels.  It was only when a broken shard of glass reflected light directly in his eyes that he looked up from the stairs, and saw the change in the landscape.

It was still dark, but it was the darkness of a moonless night, not the pure emptiness it had been before.  Small bursts of light flickered in and out of existence as far as Dean could see.  It was as if miniature stars were exploding into being and disappearing again just as quickly, coming closer as the two humans descended the stairs, illuminating more and more as they came approached.  By the time the stairs flattened into a white granite road, Dean could see that that the lights weren’t stars after all: they were trees.  Trees, but completely unlike any trees Dean had ever seen before in the natural world.  Light came from nowhere to reflect sharply off leaves made of emeralds, glinting on branches of braided silver and gold filigree, and making the tiny blossoms glow with cold hard beauty.  A breeze stirred the branches softly, blowing garnet petals off the nearest tree so that they drifted lazily past Dean’s face.

He reached out and caught one wonderingly.  From all appearances, it was a multi-faceted gem, the kind he remembered his mom would wear in her hair or dangling from her ears.  But for all it looked like a shining stone merely shaped like a petal, it was velvety and feather-light rather than hard and heavy.  Like a perfect imitation of a real flower petal.

Dean put the petal in his pocket, with the vague idea of bringing back proof of what he’d seen in the realm of the fae.  No one would believe him if he told them that there were trees made of silver and gold and jewels as soft and flexible as a living plant.  Everyone would be amazed to see just one little flower petal that had drifted on the breeze.

Provided he made it out of here alive to show it to them.

He shook his head and jogged to catch up with Sam.  He couldn’t afford to worry about himself right now.  Getting Sam out safely was the only thing that mattered.  Everything else was just a bonus.

The trees grew taller and more intricate the further along the path they went, like living sculptures sparkling in the nonexistent sunlight.  Deep pools of crystal clear water spread beneath the silver branches; brightly colored fish with jewels instead of scales swam in lazy circles in their depths.  In the distance, Dean could see what looked like a river flowing inexorably onward.  It was only when they got closer that he saw that something like diamond dust or stardust tumbled through the rocks, rather than water.

The river followed the path for a while, filling the air with a soft rushing sound that might have been soothing if it hadn’t seemed so sinister.  The endless flow of diamond dust was mesmerizing, sparkling and shining in the dark landscape.  When it disappeared into the darkness, it was sudden and sharp, as if the earth had risen up and swallowed it unexpectedly.

Preoccupied with watching the river as it disappeared, Dean nearly walked into Sam, who had stopped just as abruptly as the river.  He caught himself just in time: the darkness stretching in front of them was no longer a flat and featureless landscape.  It was a lake, the waters of which were pitch black and unnaturally still.  The river of dust flowing into it caused barely a ripple; the lake merely accepted the river into its dark depths.

The boat gliding unguided across the water caused no ripples either.

Sam stepped onto the boat as soon as it touched the shore.  It moved forward again unprompted before Dean could collect himself enough to follow him.  He leaped into the boat hurriedly before it sailed away; the boat rocked with his added weight and he nearly lost his balance to fall overboard.  He sank to his knees to catch himself, panting slightly.  The black waters didn’t even reflect his face looking down at it.  He shuddered to think what would have happened if he had fallen in.

He glanced at Sam.  His brother hadn’t even noticed the boat rocking after Dean’s jump; he just stared straight in front of him.  His expression was bright, eager even, but his eyes were so flat and lifeless that he looked like a walking corpse.  The Mark of the Fae stood out sharply against his bloodless face.

Ahead of them, little glimmers of light appeared.  They shone not like the reflected, twinkling light of the trees back on the shore, but like firelight, warm and comforting.  Pinpricks of candles and torches and bonfires coming closer and closer as the boat glided across the still water.  Shadows of human-like figures passed in front of the flames, and the fires faintly illuminated structures towering behind them, too dark and complex to truly make out from a distance.

Dean looked to the side and jumped.  Several other boats had appeared out of the darkness, all of them bearing more pale-faced humans with Marks on their foreheads.  A small girl smiling at the shore dreamily.  A dark skinned man with blood smeared on his hands- the fate of whichever unlucky  loved one had stood in his way.  Another girl with long hair and the remnants of tears streaking her face.  A boy with a slight frown hidden under his eager expression, like it had been frozen on his face once the curse took hold.

Dean drew his fae sword as the boats glided relentlessly toward the shore.

The docks were crowded with shifting shadows and bursts of colored lightning.  The fae, waiting to receive their guests.  Dean’s heart was about to pound its way out of his chest- but the cloak seemed to be working.  Their gazes slid over him like he was a tree or a rock, so integrated with the landscape that he might as well not exist at all.  Totally unremarkable, John had told him as he’d passed over the cloak.  Dean clutched at its folds and felt a wave of gratitude sweep over him.

The fae reaching for the boats from the dock were unlike anything he’d ever seen before.  Cas had at least been human-like, enough that sometimes Dean forgot what he really was.  Even drawings of fae that he’d seen in books illustrated fae as wild and strange versions of humans.  But the fae waiting for them could never be mistaken as humans.  They weren’t solid the way Cas had been, more like smoke in the shape of a strange creature.  Even the colors swirling inside them were less like reflected light and more like the absence of it.  They danced as they moved, so graceful that it sent chills down Dean’s spine.  Their eyes were fixed on the Marked, a primal kind of hunger hidden in their dark depths.

The moment the boats touched the dock, the fae were reaching inside, closing smoky, clawed hands around the captives.  They pulled the docile humans out and greeted them with wide smiles and excited exclamations.  Dean stayed as close to Sam as he could, watching as the fae placed a crown of dead flowers on his head.  The fae who had been holding the crown leaned forward and kissed Sam full on the lips.  Her expression was hungry when she pulled away, like she could swallow him in a swirl of black smoke and ruby-red smoke.

The docks led up to the structures Dean had seen from the boat; now that he could see them clearly, it was hard not to stop in his tracks to gape at them.  The palace shimmered like a mirage in the torchlight, and Dean wasn’t entirely sure that he was imagining the way the delicate towers seemed to sway and move, the iridescent fog that seemed to build into swirling clouds and then dissipate into entirely new buildings.  A deep blue road made of some material that Dean didn’t recognize led from the docks to the palace proper; the whole length of it was filled with fae, all straining to catch a glimpse of the human captives.

The palace itself was positively teeming with fae, all dancing to frenzied music, laughing and singing and making way for the Marked.  They reached out to touch the humans as they moved through a central courtyard.  Some fae kissed them or threw more dead flowers over them.  All around was the smell of rotting vegetation and the tang of fresh blood.

Bile rose in Dean’s throat when he saw that the smell of blood came from the goblet the ruby-black fae was tipping into Sam’s open mouth.

He looked around the courtyard, heart sinking with the weight of what he had to do.  There were fae everywhere, far too many for him to fight without getting himself- and Sam- killed in the process.  He should have pulled Sam out at the portal, and the stairs, at the edge of the black late.  Long before the fae could sink their claws even further into his brother.  But would that have worked any better than trying to steal Sam away under the noses of his captors?  Would Sam, cursed and bespelled as he was, have come quietly, or would Dean have ended up bleeding to death, surrounded by trees of gold and silver?

Maybe dad had been right.  Maybe Sam had been lost the moment the fae marked him as a baby.

He swallowed his dread, clutching the metal ball under his cloak.  Sam was still here, still alive, and Dean was going to save him.

He looked around the courtyard with a more critical eye, calculating every possibility, no matter how far-fetched.  He could throw the cloak over both himself and Sam and physically drag his brother away; he could make a distraction and get Sam out while the fae were occupied; he could take out his sword and go down fighting, hoping against hope that he could do enough damage for Sam to snap to his senses and get himself out.

Not all the fae were participating in the revelry, Dean noticed as he looked vainly around the courtyard for an answer to his impossible task.  Some of the fae stood along the edges of the celebrations, talking amongst themselves and only occasionally glancing at the Marked and the other fae in disdain.  These fae looked different than the fae dancing around their prizes.  They were tall and elegant, more human-shaped than the others, beings of white light and frozen flames rather than shadow and smoke, quiet and still where the others were quick and feral.

He was about to turn back to Sam when a familiar shape caught his eye.  He swallowed, looking at the fae in the shape of a man with dark, mussed hair and piercing blue eyes.  It wasn’t that he hadn’t expected to see him; he just hadn’t let himself think about the possibility, not when there was so much at stake.  After the last time they’d met, it was better not to think about his old friend at all, especially not the prospect of being near him again for the first time in four years.  It didn’t stop Dean from looking, though.  He stifled a gasp when the fae unfurled a pair of wings made of shadows and colored lightning, ready give one sweep and send him hurtling into the sky.  Dean had only seen those wings once when they were children; he hadn’t realized how beautiful they were.

But instead of flying away, disappearing from Dean’s sight once again, the fae paused, frowning.  As if he could feel Dean’s eyes on him, he turned to look at the center of the courtyard.

Their eyes met.  Dean froze, caught in under the shocked intensity of that gaze for the first time in four years: cloak or no cloak, Cas was staring right at him.

 

* * *

_Dear Jody,_

_I’m glad to hear you’ve reached your new home safely and that you’re starting to settle in the swing of things.  A change of scenery will definitely do you a world of good after everything that’s happened- but I got to say, hon, Winchester Castle is pretty empty without you.  You be sure to send me all the gossip from Sioux Falls so I don’t get too lonesome, you hear?_

_Things around here have quieted down a bit, what with Lord Winchester off looking for god-knows-what (third time this year he’s left the castle to me and Bobby to run).  Jo has started hanging about underfoot in the kitchen, always wanting to play with knives and the oven.  I swear that girl will be the death of me one day- although, I suppose I should be grateful that she’s under my eye.  When she’s not in the kitchen, she’s following Dean Winchester around while he plays with much more dangerous toys, courtesy of my Lord and his fool’s errand of a quest._

_I worry about the Winchester boys sometimes.  Two of the sweetest boys you ever met, but their dad runs off for months on end to find something he doesn’t even know exists.  And then when he is home, he treats them like soldiers instead of nine and thirteen year old kids.  Sam gets it bad enough, but Dean really takes it to heart even when John isn’t around.  Not a day goes by I don’t see him practicing in the training yard instead of playing like a boy his age ought to.  And when he’s not training, he’s looking after his brother as if Sam will disappear if Dean takes his eyes off him for more than half a second._

_If you were still here I’d enlist you in a scheme to give these boys some time to just be kids for a change.  I’m not sure that there’s much I can do about it on my own.  Hell, I’m not even sure how to keep living daily life without you around, either._

_Well, here I am talking about how much I wish you were here, when this was supposed to be a letter congratulating you for getting settled down elsewhere.  I’ll leave you to it, then, but only if you write back quickly._

_All my love,  
Ellen_

* * *

**4\. THEN**

It wasn’t against the rules- not technically anyway.  Naomi had strictly forbidden Castiel from leaving the palace grounds, frustrated with his tendency to wander off rather than heading straight back to the Fledgeling Wing after his service.  While he was on the palace grounds, she could find him easily enough; once he left she was forced to just wait for him with that icy cold fury that Cas hated so much.

Of course, the problem with her plan was that the portal _was_ inside the palace grounds, and therefore everything on the other side of it was as well.  Meaning that by the letter of the law, Castiel never went further than fifty meters away from the Fledgeling Wing.

Naomi would certainly disagree if she knew where he disappeared to every day, but since she was the one he was avoiding in the first place, he didn’t much care what she thought.

The courtyard where the portal was hidden was always empty, no matter what the time of day or what else might be going on in the rest of the palace.  If he cared enough to wonder, Castiel might have thought that maybe no one else even knew that the courtyard existed- easy enough in a palace that was constantly shifting according to the needs those walking inside of it.  The palace had never catered to Castiel’s needs on any other occasion, of course.  Even as a _nawesiel_ , a greater fae, he wasn’t nearly important enough to register in the palace’s magical senses.

And yet, one day when Naomi was searching for him and the borders of the grounds wouldn’t let him pass at her request, he stumbled upon this small, unoccupied courtyard, and the portal hidden at its center.

He hadn’t gone through the portal, that first day.  He looked at it for a long time, gnawing on his lip, before turning back and flying towards the Fledgeling Ward and Naomi’s inevitable scolding, unease trailing him like a thundercloud.  Portals didn’t open on their own.  The only way to cross into the human realm was to petition Michael, and for him to use the key that hung around his neck at all times.  Portals opened on the other side whenever a fae willed it; but from Nawwe, their own realm, it just wasn’t possible without the key.

And it certainly wasn’t possible for them to open in broad daylight.

Castiel didn't think about the mystery too hard.Nawwe was strange even for someone who lived there; a single anomaly wasn't enough to occupy his thoughts for very long.But the next day, as he was walking through an entirely different part of the palace, searching vainly for a hidden corner where Naomi wouldn't find him, he found himself in that exact same courtyard, staring at the emerging portal.

He didn't go through the portal that day either.He wasn't an idiot; he knew that an unnoticed, unsupervised portal meant trouble.But... then again...

His curiosity overcame his caution fairly quickly.

Now, he was used to the sensation of pressing and pulling and _squeezing_ until he was about to explode, and the sudden ringing in his ears when it stopped.He was used to the sunlight now, so much brighter than it ever shone at home, sending strange, warm tingles down his arms whenever he walked through a beam; he ignored the fact that he shouldn't be able to survive in direct sunlight, let alone enjoy it.He was used to the way that his body felt different on Earth, more solid and ungainly but _present_ in a way that he never felt in Nawwe.After weeks of coming here, he was used to the journey to a place that was starting to feel more like home than the palace where he'd lived his whole life.

He would never get used to the riot of green, living things that bloomed all around him.

Castiel smiled.His almost human-like body relaxed immediately with the touch of sunlight on his skin, the breeze ruffling his hair, the feeling of life embracing him with colorful blossoms and cool green tendrils.A nearby stone, maybe the ruins of a fae temple, became a perfect seat where he could just stay still, absorb it all, free of the pressures of serving Michael and obeying Naomi every waking hour.It was strange to feel free of that.There was nowhere in Nawwe where he could escape his duties; but here on Earth, all he felt was peace.

Naomi, Michael, all of them- they all said that Earth was dangerous.There was a reason that Father Cosmos had given them Nawwe, away from the insidious violence of the humans.Humanity couldn't be trusted to care for the gifts of nature, including a relationship with the fae.The only thing that humans were good at was violence; the only thing they were useful for was as pets, as entertainment.That's what everyone said; and Castiel had seen the scars on Michael's face as proof.

Still, here in this silent forest on Earth, all that Cas could see was peace.He tried not to wonder what the other fae weren't telling him.

***

"Dean Winchester, get in here."

Dean flinched, immediately scrambling to think of what he'd done wrong.He hadn't been up to anything recently- not that would get him in trouble, anyway- but if Ellen was using his full name, it had to be something _bad_.

He shuffled back into the kitchen to stand in front of the cook."Yes Ellen?" he said, giving her his best look-how-innocent-and-adorable-I-am expression, which never really worked on Ellen but was at least better than the alternative of looking terrified.

She frowned at him.He squirmed under her scrutiny, wishing that he'd taken the main stairs to the practice yard rather than the servants' like he usually did.This was it.She was finally going to kill him.And the worst part was, he didn't even know _why_ this time.

Finally Ellen sighed."Stop fidgeting, boy, you ain't in trouble," she said."I just wanted to see how you're doing."

"I'm fine," Dean said immediately.Something in Ellen's expression shifted; he had a feeling that he hadn't given the correct answer.Then again, it was the truth, so he didn't see how she could get mad at him for that.

Ellen looked him up and down, her gaze sharp and inescapable."What are you doing today?Training?"

Dean straightened.This was a question he could give the right answer to."Train in the yard, help Sam get dressed and get breakfast, then the library for two hours, lunch, nap time for Sam while I train some more, dinner, then bed."

Ellen was silent for a long time, long enough that Dean started to wonder if she was going to follow her question up at all.Maybe he should just go.

"No," she said eventually.

"No?" Dean said, frowning.Ellen seemed to be working off of a different answer key than the one that dad had given him.

She shook her head and put a hand on his shoulder.For all that she was firm and pretty terrifying, her touch was surprisingly gentle."Listen up, Dean Winchester.Instead of doing all that, you're going to bring Sam over here for me to look after while he and Jo play.And _you_ are gonna take the day off, you hear?"

Dean stared at her."What?But dad said-"

"I know what he said," Ellen snapped."Listen to what I'm saying now.You need to take some time to be a normal kid."

"A normal kid?" Dean stammered.Not only was it a different answer key, this was a whole different test, and it wasn't one that he'd ever thought he'd face.What did that even mean, a normal kid?He couldn't be normal, he wasn't _allowed_ to be normal, not when Sam was Marked and Dean had to protect him.Normal was for village boys who's biggest care in the world was who could climb the highest on the tall tree by town center."What am I even supposed to do?" he asked, a little bit desperately.

"Go outside," Ellen told him, and under the acerbic bite in her voice there was a current of kindness."Run around, climb trees, make a friend, play games.I know you know how to do all that, and I know you love to do it too, so don't try to tell me you don't.Don't worry about Sam, I'll take care of him."She fixed him with her best threatening glare that never failed to strike fear in the deepest part of Dean's heart."And if I see you training instead of playing, you'll be in trouble, boy."

And with that, she shooed him out of the kitchen.

He stood at the castle gates for a long time, chewing on his lip.As enticing as an entire day to himself seemed, if dad ever found out that he was playing instead of doing his job, then he would be even _worse_ than dead.He was supposed to be training, and taking care of Sam, and training some more, not pretending to be a normal boy.

Then again, dad would be gone for at least another few weeks, and Ellen was right here.She could be just as scary as John Winchester when she wanted to be.

Decision made, he ran off to explore the woods.

He wasn't an idiot about it, though.Just because he was taking the day off like Ellen ordered, that didn't mean it wasn't dangerous, and it didn't mean he could put his guard down for a single second.That was part of his training.Master Singer always made sure he remembered that, and that he had a weapon with him at all times.Constant vigilance was crucial to being a warrior, Bobby would tell him gruffly.That way the enemy can never sneak up on you.

And here in the forest, there could be a fae hiding behind every tree.

Dean drew his fae-sword and made a strike at a nearby oak.The blade glanced off the solid trunk, rebounding much harder than Dean was expecting.He frowned at the tree.The blade had barely even nicked the _bark_.He lowered the sword in disappointment- trust Bobby to give him a sword that could kill fae, and then make it so blunt that it was completely useless.When dad was around, he always let Dean use a _real_ fae-sword, sharp edges and all.

He swung the sword again anyway, avoiding the tree this time to slash at thin air.He wasn't training, not exactly, but the best games were the ones where he was fighting the fae anyway.He parried against the empty air, battling hoards of fae that threatened the fate of humanity.They were vicious creatures, and they had already overwhelmed all their other defenses; now it was up to him and dad to defeat them and save Sam.It was Dean's job to keep the fae away from Sam while dad made the daring journey to get the cure for Sam's curse.The fae were almost too much for Dean, but he struggled and fought them anyway.Each one that dared come close to him died horribly on the end of his blade while he moved on to the next threat, and the next, and the next.He was Dean Winchester, and they would never capture Sam while he was alive.

Imagining the battle proved to be a little difficult, since Dean didn't really know what the fae looked like- it was hard to strike a killing blow when you didn't know if your enemy was tall or short, quick or slow, cunning or strong.Ellen said that the fae were like shadows that were invisible in the daylight, and that's why they only came out at night.Bobby said they were ugly and small, and that they lurked under bridges and on isolated paths, waiting for hapless travelers to run into them.Then he'd scold Dean for losing focus, and he'd tell him to pay attention to what he was doing before he poked his eye out.That was usually the point where Bobby chased him away from the training yard or the smithy, muttering about kids hanging around while he's trying to work, and something about irresponsible fathers.

Dad never said anything about what fae looked like.All that he'd told Dean about them was that they were evil, malicious vermin that needed to be stamped out.That part, Dean had worked out for himself.

All that Dean remembered from the one fae that he had ever seen were those bright yellow eyes, looking right down at his brother, and the accompanying smell of burning flesh.

He lunged and slipped, catching himself with the tip of his sword on the ground at the very last second.He frowned at the blade, now spattered with mud.He tried to rub it off with his shirt.The mud remained, but now his shirt was dirty too.

Great.Some hero he was.He could barely fight an imaginary fae.How was he supposed to save Sam if he couldn't even win in a pretend battle?

He turned to go back to the castle.Ellen or no Ellen, he had to train more if he ever wanted to be able to protect Sam like he was supposed to.Dad would have been ashamed to see him stumble like that, and he couldn't bear that.He had a responsibility, and right now he was avoiding it.

But he paused at the edge of the clearing, frowning.The hairs on the back of his neck prickled; he lifted the sword slightly, something excited and terrified fluttering in his throat.

There, over to the right.Something rustled in the undergrowth, and a twig crunched under a footstep.He was being watched.

He gripped his sword tightly and moved forward as quietly as he could, trying to ignore the terror now flooding his bloodstream and the tremors in his hands.If it was a fae, he had to kill it, or it would get to the castle and hurt somebody- maybe Sam, or maybe Ellen or Jo or anyone else who lived there.Dean couldn't let that happen, no matter how much his hands were shaking.He could be a hero for Sam.He could do it.

Whatever it was rustled again, from behind a nearby tree.Dean snuck closer, ready to spring out with his best surprise attack.He could do this.

With a deep breath, he lunged to stab the enemy behind the tree.

His sword caught in a vine and wrenched out of his hand, clattering to the ground and startling the boy sitting there.The boy jumped up with a loud yelp, then clapped his hand over his mouth when he saw Dean standing there.He stared at Dean with blue eyes brighter than Dean had ever seen before.

"Oh," Dean said, straightening out of his frozen attack pose.He looked down at his fae-sword, simultaneously disappointed, relieved, and embarrassed."Sorry, I thought..." he muttered, avoiding the boy's piercing gaze."Did I hurt you?"

The boy stared at him and didn't say anything.He didn't look injured though, at least.Ellen _really_ would have killed Dean if he actually hurt someone.He sighed and picked up his sword from the ground near the boy's feet.

The boy practically squeaked as he scrambled away.Dean frowned and put the sword in its sheath."Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you," he said."That was an accident, I thought you were something else.Something dangerous.I was just practicing."

The boy eyed the sword, some of the tension draining from his shoulders, though he continued to keep his distance."Practicing?" he asked hesitantly."Practicing for what?"

Dean shrugged."It's an important quest that I have," he said, pretending to be nonchalant about it.

A spark of interest appeared in the boy's eyes."What kind of quest?" he said, inching forward ever so slightly.Something about the intensity in his gaze felt weird, like he was picking Dean apart molecule by molecule.Except that when other people did that, they were always disappointed with what they found.This boy, though, seemed to be more and more intrigued the longer he looked.

"An important one," Dean repeated, puffing his chest proudly.Even if he wasn't any good yet, it was still special that dad was training him, that dad had given him this job.Dad _trusted_ him to help save Sammy."One day, I'm going to save my brother from an evil curse.Everyone says that it's impossible, but I know that I'm gonna do it."He paused, and a little of his bravado deflated under the boy's unwavering stare."Well, I gotta practice more first, or I'll never be a hero," he added grudgingly."That's what dad says."

The boy relaxed even further, creeping even closer with his head cocked sideways like a birdHe was a little funny-looking, but Dean couldn't figure out exactly how.Maybe it was because his eyes were so blue.The color was so bright that his eyes were almost glowing.Like there were fires behind them, lighting them up from the inside.

"So you aren't a hero yet?" the boy asked.

Dean bristled a little.Just because he couldn't fight well _now_ didn't mean he couldn't learn.He had to learn.He had to save Sammy."I can still do things," he snapped."I can fight you right now, I bet you I'll win."

The boy looked positively alarmed at the suggestion.He scooted backwards again, his gaze flicking to the sword."You don't have to fight to be a hero, you know," he told Dean crossly."Anael was a hero, and she never fought anyone.She saved thousands of slaves just by talking and distracting everyone so the slaves could sneak past.And then when they started to suspect something, she challenged the slavers to keep them distracted."

"So she did fight someone," Dean pointed out.The name Anael flew over his head- there were too many names in history, and they all belonged to dead people so who cared.But this wasn't like the history books in the library.This was more like the stories that Bobby sometimes told of some war ages ago.

The boy shook his head emphatically."She did _not_ ," he said."The slaves were being kept in a magical cage, so she confronted the sorcerer holding them and challenged him to a battle of wits."The boy seemed more lively now, eager to share the story. Something about him caught Dean's attention even more than the story, something bright and magnetic in his blue eyes."But what the sorcerer didn't know was that the game they played was designed to distract his magical attention away from the enclosure.So while they played, Anael's lover Bazriel snuck the slaves away."

"But what happened then?" Dean asked."Did the sorcerer find out?"

The boy nodded."Yes, and he was so angry that he tried to kill Anael.But Bazriel got there first, and he killed the magician before he could kill Anael, because Anael had sworn not to do any violence."

"So Bazriel is the hero," Dean pointed out."Because he was the one who killed the bad guy."

A frown creased the boy's face.He shook his head again, the light in his eyes earnest and persuasive."They're both heroes, but Anael is the one who was willing to sacrifice herself for what she believed in," the boy insisted."That's what I was saying.You don't have to use violence to be a hero."

Dean contemplated that, rolling around in his mind, trying to get a feel for the weight of it.He couldn't figure it out; the only way he could be a hero, the only way he could save Sam, was if he killed the fae who wanted to steal his brother.That was just how the world worked.

He didn't say that though.The boy was so sure about it, and he didn't want to ruin the story for someone who liked it so much."I never heard of Anael or Bazriel before," he said instead.A thought occurred to him, and he grinned."Hey, you wanna play?I could be Bazriel and you could be Anael, and we could defeat the sorcerer, yeah?"

The boy blinked in surprise."Oh," he said, frowning in confusion."But I'm not Anael."

Dean laughed."Yeah, dummy, that's why it's called pretend," he said.

"Oh," the boy said again.He thought about it for a moment."But who will be the sorcerer?" he asked.

Dean shrugged."We can just imagine there's a sorcerer, that's the best part of playing pretend.Come on, let's play!"

A tiny smile crept over the boy's face."Okay," he said cautiously.

"My name is Dean," Dean said, suddenly remembering the manners Ellen kept trying to teach him."What's yours?"

Once again the boy hesitated, but the smile was still quivering at the corners of his mouth."Castiel," he said, holding out his hand.

Dean looked at his outstretched hand and grinned.Instead of shaking it like Castiel was expecting, he slapped it lightly and darted away."Bet you can't catch me, Cas," he teased, and ran off.

He smiled to himself when he heard Cas start to chase after him.This day was definitely shaping up to be much better than when it started.

 

 

***

Castiel had never met anyone like Dean.

He'd played with other fae before when he was younger, back before the others mysteriously melted away from his company for no particular reason that he could discern.The fae were always quiet, calm, methodical in their games; they always followed the rules to the letter.He'd enjoyed playing with them, even though some part of him had chafed at the rules and strictures and technicalities that the others had imposed on him- maybe that was why the still, cold fledgelings had started to avoid him.

None of the fae had ever challenged him to catch them without warning, speeding off into the trees before Cas could regain his bearing; the certainly never flashed smiled made of pure sunlight back at him, compelling him to start running without conscious thought.

He caught up to Dean quickly, even without using his wings- this was a running game, not a flying game, and besides it wouldn't be fair since Dean didn't have wings of his own.Dean laughed when Castiel grabbed for him and missed.For some reason, Cas' heart skipped a beat at the sound.

Dean was darting away again, his grin now triumphant.Castiel shook off whatever spell this magic-less human was casting and gave chase again.He wasn't about to lose the first human game he'd ever played.

He saw his chance and took it, leaping onto Dean's back and tackling him to the ground.Dean yelped as they crashed onto the forest floor, loud enough that Cas felt a twinge of worry that he'd hurt the more fragile human.But then Dean's hands shot out, shoving Cas away as he squirmed out of his grip with a grin on his face and a sparkle in his eyes.Castiel let him go, lost in staring at him.

"What?" Dean panted, noticing Cas' intense attention.When he didn't answer right away, Dean waved a hand in front of his face."Hellooo?What are you staring at?"

"You have green eyes," Castiel blurted without meaning to.They were shining in the dappled sunlight, a soft spring green mixed with gold and brown.Fae never had green eyes.Michael said that fae were made of stardust and living flame, but humans were made of coarser materials, of water and earth and air.That was why the fae were superior, Michael said, more sophisticated and etherial and graceful- even the _ennesa_ , the wild fae, were like smoke and fire.Nothing like the earth.

Dean was made of earth, Castiel was certain of it.His smile was born in the sun dripping through the trees to dance on wildflowers, his eyes from the green and gold leaves stirring in the breeze.

He was beautiful.

Dean frowned at him, puzzled."You're weird, you know that?" he said.

Castiel blinked."I am?"

Dean nodded seriously, then smiled again."I like it," he declared, springing to his feet."C'mon, let's play Anael and Bazriel."

The game was fluid and ever shifting, the rules unclear and perhaps nonexistent.Castiel couldn't play the way that Dean was playing, couldn't keep track of all the changes and details that Dean added to the story that Castiel knew so well- but he didn't care.Even when Dean gave him weird looks or chastised him for staring, for standing too close; even then, Castiel was the happiest he'd been in a long, long time.

When Dean asked if Cas wanted to play together again tomorrow, he said yes without hesitation.

* * *

 

**_Excerpt from the introduction of_ _A Brief History of the Fae_ _by Josie Sands_ **

_Many people have debated over the years over the precise appearance of the fae.Not only does the separation of the two worlds make it difficult to find a true description, but descriptions that I and other scholars have come across have always been remarkably varied.In part, this is because survivors of an encounter with the fae are rare, to say the least; those who do exist are often reluctant to relive the traumatic experience, leaving us with second and third hand accounts of questionable veracity._

_However, the variation in descriptions, some of which agree with each other on many details yet coming from vastly different sources, suggests that there might be some variation in fae rather than merely in the flights of fancy of human beings.Just as there are many races of humankind, evidence would suggest that there are several races of fae; and just as race and culture is often a source of conflict for humans, so too among the fae._

_Most accounts of the fae do agree on several points, which indicates that despite minute superficial differences, fae in general have some characteristics in common.Those characteristics will be expounded upon in later chapters; in short, fae always appear human except on close inspection, have a physical resemblance to naturally occurring forms of electricity, fire, and cosmic lights, and their inhuman qualities are more pronounced in the light of their own world.In other words, if the fae is careful, they might walk amongst humans casually, and never reveal themselves unless they so wish, or the light of their own world falls upon them._

_As somber an idea as that is, there is also hope: the fae, though in possession of greater magics than humans could ever dream of, are limited in the human world.They cannot come to the human world in sunlit hours, for the light burns them into nonexistence, and their magic here is more suited to changing the natural world than attacking us.That does not mean that the fae are not dangerous- on the contrary, their resentment of their limitations often encourages them to lay magical traps for daylight hours, waiting for unsuspecting humans to wander into them.However, as detailed in this book, certain measures can be taken that will limit a fae's ability to harm us, and have been used to great effect in the past.The best measure of safety, of course, will always to stay indoors at night, and keep an eye out for any traps that might appear; but with an examination of the fae themselves and their history among humanity, it might be possible for us to glean the real answer to this eternal conflict._

* * *

 

**5\. THEN**

Ellen smiled when Dean trotted into the kitchen with Sam in tow and a hopeful expression.She didn't ask any questions, which Dean was grateful for- he didn't know how to explain to her that he'd met a strange boy in the forest, played with him, and now wanted to go play with him again.He didn't really know how to explain it to himself, either, just that the idea of training when he could see Cas again made a stone sink heavily into his stomach.

Something told him that Ellen wouldn't approve of him playing with a strange boy anyway, so he wouldn't have told her even if he had known how to say it.

He ran off into the forest as soon as Sam was settled in the kitchen, playing with Jo.His head spun with excitement, a sensation completely different than the feeling of anticipation when dad was coming home.When dad came back, Dean always ran out to meet him on the road, ecstatic that everything was alright, everything was _normal_ again, at least for a few days.But there was always that shiver of something else, something Dean couldn't name, that he felt when dad swung down from his horse and looked Dean up and down with a critical eye.Excitement, happiness- they fell a little flat when faced with John Winchester's constant stern expression, and Dean knew that despite everything he'd done, he hadn't quite lived up to what dad needed him to be.

This excitement was different though.This was like golden bubbles in his chest and butterflies swirling around him in dizzying circles, his feet barely touching the ground and his heart pounding far faster than it should.Maybe this was what it was like to have a friend.Dean had never had one before, so he didn't really know.Sam and Jo were too young to really be his _friends_ , and it was hard to be friend with Sam anyway because he was supposed to _protect_ him, not play games with him.The boys that lived in the village nearby sometimes asked him if he wanted to join them, but he'd said no so many times that they finally gave up and stopped asking.They thought he was a stuck up lord's son, too good to play with them; it was easier to let them think that than to explain that it was actually the reverse, that he didn't deserve to play with _them_.

But this...Maybe it was because Dean hadn't thought too hard, hadn't focused on the fact that he had to keep training, keep trying, because otherwise he wasn't worth anything.He didn't deserve to have a friend, but Cas was too interesting and clever and different and attentive for Dean to stay aways like he should.He was Dean's friend, and now that he had it Dean didn't want to let it go.

The meeting spot was empty when he reached it; he quelled a sharp flutter of combined fear and disappointment.Maybe Cas was just late; even if he wasn't coming, that was probably for the best anyway.

Dean sat on a weathered rock that rested in the center of the clearing, almost as if it had been placed there.He traced a line carved along the side; it must have been part of one of the old ruins that dotted the forest, covered in moss and flowers and barely distinguishable from the rest of the landscape.No one had ever told him what they were ruins of, not that Dean really cared.They didn't have anything to do with his training, or with taking care of Sam, so he'd never given the ruins much thought anyway.

The way the sunlight hit the indecipherable glyphs lining the broken column made him wonder what had lived here all those years ago, and why they had left their whole lives behind them.

Something flashed behind the trees, something blinding and blue-white, interrupting his musings.He leaped to his feet, heart pounding somewhere in his throat, eyes watering with the intensity of the light that was only getting brighter.

Blue-white light.Dad had told him what it meant.

A fae portal was opening just a few feet away from him.

His hands shook as he pulled his dull fae sword out of its sheath.Yesterday, he'd thought he was afraid when he'd heard rustling in the bushes and had gone to investigate.But then, he'd known, deep down, that it wasn't a fae.Animals were hurrying through the undergrowth all the time, going about their business with no grudge to bear against a thirteen-year-old boy playing nearby.

This though...There was nothing like this light in nature, nothing that wasn't magical and sinister and lying in wait to attack everyone Dean had ever loved, and he'd never known terror like this before.He could barely move in the light of the realm of the fae, paralyzed with the knowledge that this was it.This was the moment that Dean would either prove himself the hero he needed to be to save Sam, or the failure that he'd always suspected that he was.

He took a deep breath and forced one foot forward.Then the other.Another step.One more.The light was still getting brighter, and he could barely see, but he had to do this.He couldn't freeze or run away; he had to face this head on.

If dad was here, he'd tell Dean to man up and get the job done.He could do that.He could do it for Sammy.He could be a hero.

He crept toward the light the way Master Singer taught him, quick and silent.The light blinded him even through the screen of leaves and branches in the way.He was at a disadvantage, but he couldn't give up now, not even with his heart pounding a rough drumbeat urging him back towards the strong, secure walls of the castle.He wouldn't be able to same Sammy from the curse if he was dead.

Man up, Dean, he told himself, taking yet another deep breath.He could do this, he could do this, he could do this.

He stepped out from the cover of the trees at the exact same moment that Cas stepped out of the fae portal.

They stared at each other, frozen in complete shock in the light of the realm of the fae.Dean's eyes moved of their own volition, taking in Cas' sharp silhouette against the bright light, the unnatural glow of his blue eyes, the lightning crackling under his skin the same color as the portal, the flames dancing along with it.His eyes moved away from even that, up over Cas' shoulders, over to the shadows and shifting colors rising out of his skin, abstract and etherial but somehow concrete as well: a pair of wings folded tightly against his back.

Wings, in the light of the fae portal.Cas had wings, and magic, and lightning bubbling under his skin, and god, oh god oh god, Cas wasn't human, he wasn't natural, he was a-

Dean felt like he was going to be sick.

The two boys, one human, one fae, stared at each other as the light of the portal faded.Without the light from his home, the otherworldliness of Cas' features faded, leaving him a normal boy once again.His eyes might have been a little too bright, his movements a little too vibrant, but a normal boy nonetheless.A boy Dean had almost called his friend.

Not a boy.A fae.

Dean raised his sword to point it squarely at the fae's heart.His hands shook and he couldn't hope to steady them, but it didn't matter.The fae standing in front of him had almost been his friend, hadn't made any move to hurt him, but that didn't matter either.The fae were the fae, and all of them wanted humanity dead or broken with grief and fear.And it was Dean's job to kill them.It was his job to save Sam.

Cas looked at the blade as it shifted toward him, his eyes wide and frightened, his face pale.He didn't move to defend himself as Dean took a step forward, didn't try to curse him or run away, or even move at all.He just looked at Dean with those terrified blue eyes.

"Dean?" Cas whispered suddenly.

He sounded for all the world like a scared little boy, no older or more dangerous than Dean himself.Like the boy who had lit up with happiness when Dean dared him to catch him, the boy who never seemed to smile until he'd made Dean laugh at his impression of a bee buzzing around them, the boy that Dean had only known for a day but who had been Dean's friend.The only friend Dean had ever had.

Dean swallowed.Man up and do the job, he told himself again, but he still couldn't bring himself to move, to strike.

"Dean," Cas said again.Pleading.

He broke.

The trees rushed at him as he ran, tripping him, clawing at his skin and tearing viciously through his clothes.Tears welled in his eyes, making it harder to see where he was going, but he just ran all the faster, ignoring the scrapes and bruises that stung him.He didn't know if Cas had tried to follow him, or if the fae had just stayed back there.It didn't matter.Cas was still alive whether he followed Dean or not.He was still alive, because Dean was too much of a coward to kill him.

He reached the castle and darted up the stairs without slowing, startling Nancy as she carried dirty sheets down to be washed.He slammed his door shut as soon as he made it inside his room; for a moment he just stood there, his heart hammering and his breath seizing in his chest.

He'd met a fae, and he let it live.He'd met a fae and he let it live.God, he'd just stood there, he hadn't even _tried_.What the hell had he been thinking?If dad found out, he would kill Dean in an instant- no, not an instant.A long, excruciating lifetime of pain as dad killed him, because he'd disappointed John in the worst way possible, in the only way that really mattered.He'd met a fae, and he let it live, and that was unforgivable.

So much for saving Sam.So much for being worth anything, for having a friend, for being a hero.He couldn't even kill one stupid fae, let alone protect Sam in the face of an army of them.

So much for everything.

He sank down to the ground and pressed his knees into his eyes.He didn't move again for a very long time.

* * *

 

_Dear Dean,_

_The post will be leaving soon, so I don't have much time to write this.To answer your question though, I've never heard of a fae appearing in daylight.From what I understand, the sun burns them until they becoming nothing more than dust, although there doesn't seem to be much research on why the sunlight affects them so.I've been looking into it as a possible method of destroying them, and from what I've seen it's impossible for a fae to withstand the daylight hours in the human realm._

_Are you asking out of curiosity, or did something happen?Is Sam alright?_

_In any case, you need to be even more careful now than before, and make sure to continue with your training.My new associate here tells me that more and more fae traps have been sighted in the past few months, taking many lives along with them.Keep a vigilant eye open for anything odd, because it could be that the fae would like to claim their cursed prizes a little earlier than at their eighteenth midwinter._

_I'm enclosing a list for Bobby so that he can continue to take your training in the right direction.I need you to be at your best for this, Dean.Saving Sam might be a lot more difficult than we thought it would be._

_I'll be moving on soon to a castle with a rather extensive library.I'll write you once I arrive, if I can._

_-John_

* * *

 

**6\. THEN**

Castiel hadn't meant to go back to the human realm.The ache he'd felt in his chest when he'd last stood in the portal, watching Dean run from him, still stung too much to allow him to go back.Dean certainly wouldn't want to see him again, that was for sure, and if he did he might even kill him.And the rest of that world, the dappled sunlight and quiet flowers, it was all tainted by the absolute knowledge that he wasn't welcome there.

The image of Dean raising his sword played in Cas' mind over and over and over again, sending fresh waves of fear and sadness through him each and every time.Michael had been right, it seemed.The humans had nothing inside them except violence, even Dean.Any other gesture or action was just a front.

Castiel tried not to think about the fear and pain he'd seen in Dean's eyes as he'd run away.Fear and pain that had matched his own.

He really hadn't meant to go back.It was just that he could feel the chill that seemed to emanate from inside Naomi, even when he wasn't inside the Fledgeling Wing.He was too old to be living in the fledgeling quarters under Naomi's watchful eye anyway.Naomi claimed he wasn't ready to begin his studies with Michael and the other fae his own age."A crack in his chassis," she'd told Michael while Cas had still been in the room, not bothering to keep her voice down.Castiel was broken, too independent, too _himself_ to be allowed to join his peers.He couldn't bear Naomi's cold stare on him anymore after he heard that, all alone while the younger fledgelings played around him, secure in their place in the world.

All in all, even the unwelcome of the human realm began to seem more and more hospitable as the weeks dragged by.

He paused in front of the portal, nearly two months after he'd last gone through, and told himself to calm down.It wasn't as if he would see Dean again anyway.He would stay hidden, avoid their meeting place, stick to the shadows.He just needed to get away for a while, like he had in the days before Dean had discovered him; it would be perfectly safe.

The rush of warm, sweet air gentled his aching, distressed grace the moment he stepped through the portal.He took a deep breath, and another, and another, letting the calm float through him until he felt like his feet were grounded in the earth once more.The sun was warm and the flowers greeted him in colorful waves; he smiled.He'd missed this.

He drifted wherever the sun and the wind took him, picking across the mossy banks of a stream, marveling at the way the water danced in the sunlight.The trees grew taller here than they did near the portal, allowing less undergrowth and parting only for the stream.The water chattered and laughed as it poured over the rocks of the stream bed, forming waterfalls and swirling pools, and always moving inexorably onward.

Castiel followed the stream as it tumbled and carved its way through the forest.The hills that housed the portal grew taller and taller around him as he wandered downstream- not hills, mountains.Maybe the clearing around the portal was on a plateau, or maybe a peak, and the rest of the world lay down the flow of this one little stream.

He was so absorbed in his vibrant, living surroundings that he nearly walked right onto the human road.

The sound of voices alerted him just as he reached the path.He jumped backward as his foot touched the beaten dirt, beating his invisible wings once to catch his balance again.The voices got louder- the humans were coming this way.In a panic, he scrambled up the nearest tree to hide in the branches.Just in time, too: his foot had barely made it into the cover of the leaves when two humans appeared on the road directly beneath his tree.One of them led a pack mule and laughed at something the other had said; they strolled down the road without a care for their surroundings, safe with their hands at the ready near their weapons.Castiel felt sick at the sight.

They passed his tree quickly, leaving him free to escape, fly back to the portal and to his home where he would be safe.His fingers twitched on the trunk of the tree; he couldn't bring himself to move any more than that.The tree bark was warm and rough beneath his hands, and the stream still sang and danced even where the human road followed alongside it.He ought to go back, back to the cold and stagnant beauty of his own world, to Naomi's disapproving glances, to his life always slightly on the outside of everything.Instead, he perched in the living, growing tree, and wondered what he would find if he followed the road.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.The last time he'd encountered a human, he'd been threatened with a fae sword simply for existing, for having been born a fae.He had a feeling that an adult might follow through on that threat, the way that Dean hadn't.

Dean.Castiel's heart pounded a rougher rhythm just at the memory of Dean's smile, his laugh, his dancing green eyes.In a vibrant, living world, Dean had still been the most alive thing that Cas had ever seen.Even terrified and hurt and running from Castiel, Dean was so, so alive.

Castiel swallowed.He was just going to look, he told himself firmly.Just to see what was down the road.To see if all humans were as entrancing as Dean, or if Dean was a human so unique that he had his own kind of magic.He'd stay up in the trees, making his way from branch to branch rather than moving on the ground, keeping out of sight and sound and thought while he watched.It would be perfectly safe.

The road followed the stream for the most part, sometimes meandering away in favor of more secure ground.Castiel leaped from tree to tree to an endless line of trees long enough that he wondered if the road led anywhere at all, or if maybe the humans had built it in order to lay some sort of claim on the land.No sooner had the thought occurred to him, though, that the road forked at a sudden onset of human civilization.The way directly ahead led toward a village bustling with life and sound and movement; the larger road that peeled away from the stream led toward a castle towering over it all.

And standing in front of the castle, sighting a target with a bow and arrow, was Dean.

Castiel nearly slipped on the branch he was on.By the time he'd recovered his balance, his chest heaving with breaths far too quick and shallow, Dean had taken his shot.Cas couldn't see the target from this angle, but from the excited whoop of the boy standing next to him, the arrow must have been fairly close to the center.Dean frowned though, looking frustrated, and said something to the boy.

The other boy sighed and pointed at the target, his expression equal parts irritated and placating, a surprisingly mature expression for a boy so young.Dean looked unconvinced at whatever the boy was saying; but in a few seconds, it didn't seem to matter as Dean locked the other boy in a headlock, rubbing his fist playfully in his hair.The boy shrieked and tried to fight him off; Dean laughed and released him voluntarily, saying something teasing and cheerful.

Castiel swallowed and wished desperately that he could hear what they were saying.

The younger boy stuck his tongue out at Dean, turning his face toward the sunlight for the first time.Castiel stifled a gasp as the light shimmered across the scar on his forehead.The boy had been Marked for Awntiad.And given how close and happy Dean seemed to be with him, it would be devastating when Dean lost him in just a few short years.

No wonder Dean hated the fae.

Castiel watched them for a long time, until they disappeared behind the castle walls.He stayed in the tree long after they were gone, long after flocks of people left the castle to go back to the village, long after he should have been back home himself to face Naomi's wrath.He stayed there, just watching, just breathing, just aching with something he couldn't name until the sun dipped below the horizon and twilight wrapped around him.

***

He hadn't meant to go back to the human world, but now that he had, he couldn't fight the compulsion, the addiction.He didn't always go to the castle where he'd seen Dean laughing. Sometimes he went upstream, where the mountains grew steeper and steeper until he was flying from peak to peak and even the trees abandoned their perches; occasionally he stayed in the clearing near the portal, dozing in the sunlight and encouraging flowers to grow.But more often than not, his wanderings led him back to the one place he ought to be avoiding, without any conscious direction from him.

The trees grew thinner around the edges of the castle, leaving space for the practice yard where Dean trained so often, and making it difficult for Cas to get close.A chance encounter with a fox two days after he first found the castle, though, led him to a hidden dip in the earth covered in undergrowth and shielded from view.The fox didn't mind that Castiel shared its den for short periods at a time, as long as his focus was away from her and her kits; all of nature knew that the fae would never hurt it.

Dean often wasn't there when Castiel first arrived, though he always came out for at least a few minutes to practice his weaponry.At first, Castiel felt uneasy as he watched Dean slicing the air with his fae sword, doing drills that looked more violent than Castiel would have thought Dean was capable of; it was only when he remembered the tremble in Dean's hand when he'd pointed the sword at Cas did Castiel feel some of the tension leave his wings.Sword or no sword, Dean wasn't a creature of violence.Cas could feel it in his very grace.

Sometimes Dean was accompanied by an older man who coached him in his technique.Cas found he couldn't begrudge the man for it, though, not when the man would ruffle Dean's hair and tell him to take a break, his voice gruff but loving.Sometimes the Marked boy practiced along with them, shadowing Dean's movements with a determined expression on his small face.Dean always seemed happiest when the boy was with them.

The younger boy, Castiel soon learned, was Dean's younger brother, Sam.He followed Dean around whenever he was able, sometimes teasing him, sometimes watching him worshipfully, sometimes playing off to the side while Dean trained endlessly.On his part, Dean looked after his little brother closely, almost too closely; watching them, Castiel sometimes thought that Dean looked like a parent rather than a child, and he ached when the thought occurred to him.Maybe it was because of the scar marring Sam's forehead; and maybe it was because their father was away so often.

"Is dad coming home soon?" Sam asked Dean one day while they were taking a break from practice.

Dean looked down at his hands."Yeah, maybe," he said.It almost didn't sound like a lie."He's working really hard to find some answers to help us take care of you though, so he might be a while longer."

"I can take care of myself," Sam muttered petulantly.

Dean rolled his eyes."Sure, whatever you say, Mr. I-need-help-tying-my-laces.I'm talking about later though.When...When the fae come."

Castiel shivered at his tone and shifted further under the sheltering brush.He had nothing to do with Awntiad, but he didn't envy the fae that would be snatching Sam away from his brother when the time came.

"That's years away," Sam insisted, though he looked a little paler."We don't have to worry about that right _now_."

"Years.Right."Dean didn't look convinced, but Sam scampered off, comforted by his own limited perspective of time.

That was the only time Castiel ever heard them talk about their father.And based on the mark on Sam's forehead, he could guess what had happened to their mother: the _ennesa_ were never kind to humans who stood in their way.

Sometimes the two boys didn't come to the practice yard at all, leaving Castiel waiting in the bushes for hours, disappointed and wistful.He could sit and watch the Winchester boys for years and years, but he was a fae; he would never be a part of their world, never anything more than a breeze stirring some leaves nearby as they joked and laughed and lived their lives.

But there was more to the human world than just the Winchester boys, and he drank it all in eagerly, ignoring the growing ache in his grace.There was the older man who helped train them, Bobby Singer, who walked up from the village everyday, and every night trundled back.He was always frowning, it seemed, and he grumbled to everyone he spoke to- and yet sometimes he looked at the Winchester boys with so much love that Castiel wondered if maybe they actually did have a father around.

There was Ellen Harvelle, who sometimes met supply carts as they came up to the castle to take inventory, or walked down to the village with a determined stride while her daughter Jo played with Sam.Ellen always had flour clinging to her skin and clothes, and a little smile dancing around her mouth even when she was scolding Jo for getting in trouble.Sometimes she turned that smile on Master Singer, and he would scratch the back of his neck to hide his answering smile.

Jo sometimes came out to the training yard when it was empty, using sticks instead of swords in order to battle invisible monsters.Ellen often scolded her the most when she caught her daughter doing this, worry making her voice even sharper; and yet whenever Jo got the chance, she escaped to the practice yard anyway and played at being a warrior.Girls who lived in the village wandered over when they saw her playing, laughing at her when they realized what exactly Jo was playing at.Jo spun around with her makeshift sword and chased them away with a fierce grin when they did that; but when she returned, there were always tears in her eyes.She dropped her stick-sword, and sat down in a patch of weeds to pick the grubby daisies that grew there instead.

One day after she had left, Cas cautiously stepped out into the open and laid his hand on the patch of weeds.The next day when she saw the fully-grown, vibrant wildflowers, she shrieked in delight and begin to weave them into colorful, living crowns.Castiel smiled from his hiding place.

"What'cha got there, Jo?"

Both Cas and Jo jumped at the sound of Dean's voice.They had both been so focused on Jo's flowers that neither of them had seen him approach.Castiel inched forward a little in his foxhole so he'd be able to see Dean's face through the screen of leaves.

"I'm making something for you," Jo said, hiding the crown behind her back with an impish smile.

"For me?" Dean said, smiling.

Jo nodded, with as much solemnity that an eight-year-old could muster."Hold out your hands and close your eyes," she told him.

Dean shot her a suspicious look, but obeyed without question.Jo snickered, and dropped the flower crown on his head instead."Dean's a pretty princess!" she shrieked, and ran away laughing.

Dean snatched the crown off his head."You little-" he said, and took off after her.

She led him around the practice yard a few times, still laughing.Dean pulled exaggerated faces as he gave chase, clearly letting her win whatever this game was that they were playing.He was grinning by the time he help up his hands in surrender."Alright, you win," he panted."See?"He put the flower crown back on his head."I'm a pretty princess."

For a moment, the sun caught Dean in a beam of light, bringing out the green in his eyes, the life in his smile, the color in the flowers resting on his hair.The flowers that Castiel had grown.Castiel's heart thumped almost painfully, his breath catching in his throat.The flowers that Castiel had grown.

Then the moment was gone.Dean and Jo went to play elsewhere, the flower crown discarded on the ground, and Cas all alone in his place in the shadows.

***

It wasn't only a matter of time before Ellen decided that Dean needed another day off.It still made Dean's heart clench when she gave him her best no-nonsense look.

"Take Sam and Jo with you, if you don't want to go alone," she told him."But _go_ , you hear?"

Leaving Dean to take Sam and Jo outside the castle walls.Into the forest he'd been avoiding ever since he'd discovered what a failure he truly was.

They didn't go too far from the castle, of course.They kept close to the stream and didn't go any further than the log crossing.Dean wasn't about to take an eight and nine year old into a forest where he knew for a fact that fae could be lurking behind every corner.It wasn't like he was _scared_ to go further.He just wasn't an idiot.

"Look Dean, I'm the king!" Jo said, planting herself on a tall boulder.

"You sure are," Dean said."Does that make me your knight?"

She shook her head."Sam's the knight," she said, and Sam stuck his tongue out at Dean."You're the damsel in distress, and we gotta rescue you from the fae."

"Hey!" Dean protested."How come you always make me the girl?"

"Boy-damsel," Jo corrected, rolling her eyes."But shush and go hid so that Sam and I can save you from the monsters!"

Dean sighed but obeyed, putting on a show of being dragged away by the evil fae.He didn't think about the time he'd been just as helpless as he was pretending to be.Once he settled by a tree just out of sight of the stream, he could hear Sam and Jo shouting and battling their make-believe fae.He grinned.Kids came up with the weirdest things sometimes.

The back of his neck prickled.He turned with a frown, but there was nothing behind him.Still, he felt a shiver in his gut.Dad had said that fae couldn't come into the human realm in the daylight, but that's exactly what Cas had done.If Cas could do it...

Sam and Jo burst through the trees, laughing in triumph."We saved you, Dean!" Sam shouted, waving a stick around like a sword."Everything is going back to normal now!"

"Is that right?" Dean asked."Well then, that means I can do _this_ again-"He lunged for Sam and managed to catch him around the middle, tickling him mercilessly.Sam shrieked and pulled out of Dean's grip, grabbing Jo's hand and running away.

"Jo, he's gone crazy, the fae must have gotten to him!"

Dean grinned and chased them.He was old enough now that he shouldn't enjoy playing pretend with a couple of kids.But really, he could think of nothing better than to hear them laughing at the game.

There was no warning before it happened.One moment he was watching Sam and Jo running through the woods; the next, there was a gaping hole in the ground where his brother should be, and Sam was screaming in pain.

"Sam?" Dean said, rushing forward."Sammy!"

Jo ran toward the hole as well, and he saw the exact instant when she passed through the shimmering barrier in the air.Immediately, the grass beneath her feet sprang into violent life, engulfing her in green vines and trapping her against the trunk of a tree.

Dean skidded to a stop, but it was too late.The air tightened around his skin as he passed through the barrier, squeezing and constricting until Dean could barely breathe.He tried to get to the pit where Sam had fallen, get to Jo and tear at the vines, same them even though he was caught in the trap as well, but he could no longer move.Heart pounding, he looked out of the corner of his eyes at his only visible hand, and saw-He swallowed as best he could against the paralysis.

His fingers were slowly turning to stone.

A fae trap, and they'd walked right into it.

"Dean!" Sam was shouting."I can't get out- Dean!"

Jo closed her eyes, a few tears leaking out, and whimpered against her living gag.Dean couldn't even speak to reassure her, to tell Sam what was happening.He was trapped just as much as they were, waiting for the sun to go down and the fae to collect their new prizes.

He struggled against the magic binding him, but it was no use.He couldn't feel his hands through the stone they had become.Soon he would just be a statue.Dimly, he wondered if he'd still be conscious after the stone took over his whole body.Would he be forced to helplessly watch the results of his own failure to look after Jo?To look after _Sam_?

A rustle in the undergrowth caught his attention.If he could, he would have stepped back in fear.The fae couldn't possibly have come that quickly, could they?

His chest seized in panic as the bushes moved again- and Castiel stepped out from behind them.

"Cas?" Dean tried to whisper, but the word got swallowed by the spell.He could only watch, wide-eyed with fear, as the fae moved hesitantly closer.Cas looked terrified, his eyes flicking from Dean to Jo to the magical barrier.He reached out to touch the barrier and flinched back, as if it had sent out an electrical shock.But his eyes found Dean's again, and determination set in his expression.He laid his palm against the shimmering air.

The barrier flashed blue in a sharp clap of thunder.The air trapping them cracked like a pane of glass, and then shattered against Cas' touch.

Cas smiled reassuringly at Dean, but Dean still felt fear shivering in his still-frozen lungs.He was trapped by fae magic, and a fae had just broken through the barrier in order to reach him.

"It's okay," Cas murmured, holding up his hands like he was calming a skittish horse.Not that Dean could shy away or defend himself anyway."I'll get you out, don't worry."

And that's what I'm worried about, Dean wanted to say.He settled for glaring as menacingly as he could.He wasn't sure if he succeeded beyond looking terrified.

Cas stepped forward and pressed two fingers against Dean's forehead.

Something warm and sweet passed through Dean's body, melting the ice that had been creeping insidiously through it.He gasped and nearly collapsed without the fae magic holding him up.Cas caught his elbow to steady him, his touch like the echoes of that warm feeling.

The gentleness of his hands kept Dean from throwing all his strength into his punch, but only just.

Cas shifted so quickly that Dean couldn't follow the movement until his fist connected with Cas' hand rather than his face.Pain shot through his fist and up his arm, like he'd punched stone rather than muscle and bone.It didn't stop him from moving to kick the fae as he drew his sword and slashed it at Cas.

Cas dodged both attacks easily."Dean, stop," he said, darting in to grab Dean's wrists in an iron grip, locking him in place once again."I'm just trying to help."

"By setting a trap for us and then stealing us away?" Dean snapped, struggling against Cas' hold."How is that _helping_?"

Cas' eyes widened.He released Dean suddenly and stepped back."I didn't trap you," he said."I was just- I saw that you were trapped an now I'm getting you out.So you can go home."

"Dean?" Sam called suddenly."What's going on?I can't get out, help!"

Cas took another step back, and Dean let him.He'd already proven that he couldn't kill the fae that had almost been his friend, and if Cas could help Sam and Jo...

The fae went to Jo first, touching the living ropes around her with gentle fingers.They peeled back slowly, too slowly; Cas frowned and touched them more firmly, sending them skittering away in one sharp, sudden movement.

Dean ran over to Jo as soon as she was free, coughing and spitting out the grass that was left in her mouth.He'd never known an eight-year-old as stoic as Jo, and yet when he wrapped his arms around her, he could feel her shaking with silent, terrified sobs."It's okay, it's okay," he murmured, not entirely sure if he was telling the truth.He watched warily as Cas approached the pit that held Sam.Instinct screamed at him to get over there, protect Sam from the fae standing two feet away, but he didn't move.He wouldn't be able to get Sam out of there, but maybe Cas could.

Cas knelt cautiously at the edge of the pit and peered inside."Are you injured?" he called.

"I hurt my ankle," Sam responded, pain and fear threading their way through his voice."Where's Dean?"

"He's right here, he's fine," Cas said."I'm going to help you get out, okay?"And to Dean's shock, Cas leapt into the pit as lithely as a cat.

Panic clawed at Dean's throat.His brother was trapped in a pit with a fae.Sam was _injured_ and trapped in a pit with a fae.Sam was in trouble, and Dean was just _sitting_ there while a fae-

Something scuffed against the sides of the pit.In the next instant, Cas sprung lightly back onto the ledge at the top, Sam cradled in his arms as if he weighed no more than a feather.

"Sam!" Dean shouted, running for his brother as Cas laid him gently on the ground.

"Dean, what-" Sam began, then gasped as Cas passed his hand over his hurt ankle.A soft white light settled on the swelling injury; when the light faded, Sam flexed his foot in fear and amazement.He looked up at Cas, his face pale and his eyes wide."Who are you?" he asked quietly.

Cas hesitated, glancing at Dean."I-"He swallowed and got to his feet, despite the now ashen pallor of his face, the strain from using magic in a world that rejected it.His muscles tensed like he was about to bolt; and suddenly, despite everything that Cas was, what he represented, Dean wanted just the opposite.

"This is Cas," Dean said.Sam and Jo looked at him in shock."He's- he's my friend."

***

Cas waited silently as Dean first swore Sam and Jo into secrecy about what had happened, and then persuaded them to head back to the castle without him.He supposed he ought to feel nervous that Dean wanted to speak to him alone, that his hand was constantly lingering on the hilt of his sword.But every time Dean glanced at him, even with his wariness and suspicion in his eyes, Cas couldn't help but feel a tiny thrill of happiness.He was looking at Dean, and Dean was looking back at him.

Once Sam and Jo had disappeared down the hill, Dean's expression turned calculating.He watched Castiel for a long moment, and then slowly, very slowly and very deliberately, he sat down.Castiel followed suit, mirroring Dean's cross-legged position, secretly relieved that he could rest just a little.They sat silently for a long time.Cas resisted the urge to fidget under Dean's scrutiny.

"Thanks," Dean said suddenly."For... for being here.For saving Sam and Jo."

"Of course," Castiel said.His words sounded quiet and cold compared to the vibrancy of a human voice.Dean was still watching him warily, playing unconsciously with the hilt of his sword.

"Why _are_ you here?" Dean asked.

Castiel froze."I-" he began.Maybe Dean would hate him again if he knew, but he didn't want to lie to him."I like the human realm better than- better than home," he said in a rush.

Dean's eyes narrowed."So, what, you and your kind are gonna be moving over here and kicking us out?"

"No," Cas said quickly."It's just me, and I like humans.I like... watching over humans.Over you, too."

"You've been watching me?" Dean said, and uneasiness crossed over his face.

Cas swallowed."Not just you," he murmured."But yes.I have.I didn't want...I didn't want to go home."

Dean processed this for a moment, then snorted."That's creepy, you know," he said.

"I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable-"

"That's not what I meant," Dean told him, a small smile tugging at his lips.The uneasy knot in Cas' grace loosened at the sight.Dean considered him thoughtfully."You're not like other fae, are you."It wasn't a question.

"I suppose not," Cas murmured."The others say that I'm broken."

Dean frowned, then hesitated, looking down at his hands."But it is true though, right?"

"That I'm broken?" Cas said, fighting to keep the sadness always lurking in the back of his mind out of his voice."Probably.That's what everyone says."

To his surprise, Dean shook his head, looking angry."No, I didn't mean _that_ ," he said."Jesus, just 'cause you're different doesn't mean you're _broken_.Those guys are assholes for making you think that in the first place."

"They are?" Cas said, tilting his head.Of course, Dean didn't really _know_.He didn't know how Castiel stood out, how he was never quite able to perform his duties with the brutal efficiency that Naomi and Michael required of him, how he was proving how broken he was just by being here.But still, it made him feel warm just to hear Dean say it.

Dean shrugged."Total assholes," he assured him.He bit his lip and shifted his weight."But... it's true right?That... that you're my friend?"

Castiel stared at him, long enough that Dean started shifting uncomfortably again.His heart was pounding with some emotion he couldn't identify.Joy, or maybe relief.Or maybe it was just love."Yes," he said quietly."I'm your friend."

The smile that Dean gave him was brighter and more beautiful than the sunlight drifting all around them.

* * *

 

**_Excerpt from_ _Awntiad_ _, as told by Michael_ **

_And so it was that the war between the nawesiel and their ennesa cousins was resolved under the constellation Awntiad.In honor of the treaty, the leaders declared this night and any nights to come when Awntiad reached its pinnacle a feast night, uniting all fae together as we were meant to be._

_The threat of humanity that had finally united the warring factions remained, however.Therefore, as a part of the treaty, it was declared that the nawesiel would hold the keys to the portals that lead to the human realm; however, they may never, under pain of banishment, deny an ennesa access to the portals.Furthermore, as a provision to curb human expansion, and to remind the lesser beings of the power of the fae, five human tributes were to be taken from the human realm on the night of their eighteenth Awntiad.These tributes must be marked as such by the sixth month of their life, and their lives periodically watched over to ensure that they reach their eighteenth Awntiad intact._

_Thus the nawesiel and the ennesa achieved peace, and began the traditions that we know today as Awntiad, the Night of the Temptation._

* * *

 

**7\. NOW**

Castiel stared.Awntiad danced all around him in increasingly fevered steps, but he couldn't have moved if his life depended on it.He'd come tonight because it was required, and had expected to feel mildly sick at the whole spectacle; he hadn't expected the world to tilt radically on its axis until he was falling, falling, falling into chaos.

Dean.

Cas' heart pounded.The sounds and movements of Awntiad faded until he was standing once again in a calm green clearing, blinded by the brilliance of Dean's smile, back in a time where the whole forest was glazed in a golden-green light the same color as Dean's eyes.Back when they were still friends.Back before Cas ruined everything.

But they weren't standing in that familiar forest clearing on earth, laughing and talking and playing.They were standing in the fae palace at Awntiad, and whatever Dean was doing here, it couldn't be good.

How had Dean even _gotten_ here?

Dean's eyes flickered briefly away from Cas, back towards the center of the revelry.Even from a distance, Cas could see the tension in the set of his shoulders, the fear and near panic in his eyes.Castiel followed his gaze and saw Sam, the mark on his forehead glowing brighter than Cas had ever seen it, his face blank and lifeless.An _ennesa_ tipped a goblet of blood into his slack mouth.

Awntiad.Sam would be eighteen now, and the curse on him had activated, bringing him here to be tempted.Dean must have followed him through the portal to try to save him.

Goddammit Dean.

"Castiel?" Uriel asked, touching his shoulder in concern."Are you alright?"

Cas couldn't tear his eyes away from Sam, from Dean trying vainly to protect him.He'd known that Dean was rash, but to _sneak_ into Nawwe and stand right in the middle of the biggest fae festival there was- Cas had clearly underestimated the degree of his former friend's protectiveness.His stupidity.

Uriel must have misinterpreted Castiel's expression, because he squeezed his shoulder lightly and sighed."Do not trouble yourself, brother," Uriel said."The _ennesa_ are distasteful to be sure, but at least they are focusing their attention on the humans.That's the purpose of the celebration, is it not?"

Cas snapped his gaze back to Uriel, his stomach rolling in disgust.Had he ever been as callous and cruel to claim that humanity _deserved_ all this?Had he been like Uriel and Michael's other aides, dismissing an entire species that he'd never even met, just because of a few rumors and legends?Sam and the other Marked, they had lives, families, memories of happiness and sadness and everything in between.They didn't deserve to be stripped of all that, in order to serve as entertainment for the fae.They didn't deserve to be mocked and taunted by the very same creatures that had enslaved them.

"Excuse me, I believe I need some air away from all the excitement," he said, pulling away from Uriel.His brother-in-arms protested, but the exclamations fell on deaf ears; Cas was already gone, pushing into the heart of the celebration.

He made his way through the crowd quickly.The _ennesa_ parted for him without pausing in their dance; they knew better than to engage a _nawesiel_ during Awntiad.Historically, that never ended well for them.

Dean was looking at Sam again, eyes wide with horror at what he was witnessing.He wasn't prepared when Cas grabbed his arm and began dragging him away.He yelped, but clapped a hand over his mouth immediately.A few of the fae looked over curiously; but to Castiel's surprise, their eyes slid over the unmarked human in their midst as if he wasn't there.Dean's cloak, Cas realized, mildly impressed despite himself.Whatever the spell on it was, it shifted and adapted until Dean looked completely unremarkable.An impressive piece of human magic, considering.

"Wait," Dean hissed as Cas continued to pull him forward.He tugged at Cas' hand, trying to pull his arm free with futile determination that Castiel ignored completely.He gave up after a moment, wincing a little.Clearly the intervening years since they had last seen each other had dimmed his recollections of Cas' strength.He followed Cas with a defeated expression, glancing back at Sam after every few steps.The look on his face squeezed at Castiel's heart; but not nearly enough to suppress the protective fury raging through him.

"Cas," Dean said as they left the center courtyard and entered a -thankfully deserted- corridor."Cas, would you just hold on for a second?"

Castiel considered ignoring him, continuing to drag him all the way to the portal and back into his own realm, safe and sound.But the desperation in his eyes tugged at Cas again, and Castiel wouldn't put it past him to be doing it on purpose.Asshole.

He stopped, abruptly enough that Dean walked right into him.Cas dropped Dean's arm hurriedly and stepped back, feeling electricity flooding his veins at the oh-so-brief touch of Dean's body against his own.The memory of what happened the last time they were that close swept through him like a disease, making his heart pound and his head spin with equal parts anticipation and fear.He thought he'd rid himself of the disease in the space of four Dean-free years; years where he'd thrown himself into his duties, into following orders the way he'd always avoided, into being a real fae no longer caught under Dean Winchester's spell.And still, one look from Dean and the fever, the wanting, the hurt all came surging back.

"Are you an idiot, or do you just have a death wish?" Cas snapped, struggling to compose himself."What the hell possessed you to come here?"

"What do you think?" Dean said, glaring at him."Sam is out there on his own, and they might move him any second before I get to him, so if you'll excuse me-"

Cas grabbed his arm again before he could turn away."Dean!Stop trying to be a martyr for one second and _listen_ to me!"

Dean looked at his hand coldly."Let go of me," he said.His voice was dangerously flat; if anyone else had spoken to Castiel like that he might have let himself be intimidated.But this was Dean, and so Cas just held on more tightly.

"You can't go back there," Castiel told him through a clenched jaw."They will see you, and they will kill you, and Sam will still be cursed. _Think_ for a moment, will you?"The coldness remained in Dean's eyes.Cas sighed."Dean, Sam isn't going anywhere," he said more gently."Not for a few hours at least.You can afford to take a minute, alright?"

Dean sagged a little at that, some of the tension draining from his face."They're not going to kill him?" he asked quietly.

"Not- no, they won't."

Dean looked at him with narrowed eyes, but didn't comment on Cas' slip.Instead he rubbed a hand over his face, days and probably weeks of sleepless, terrified nights showing through on his face."Cas, what the hell is going on here?"

Castiel let go of Dean's arm again."Awntiad," he answered."The night of the temptation."

Dean waited a moment, then sighed."Okay, care to elaborate on that?"

Cas looked down."It's... a celebration," he said reluctantly."The _ennesa_ and the _nawesiel_ \- the wild fae and the... the greater fae- had a battle, hundreds of years ago, over the-"

"You can skip the history, Cas," Dean said, his tone a little sharper now.

Cas swallowed."It's the night that the _ennesa_ take new... pets.There's a celebration, and then trials to see which of them can win their prize, and then they take the pets to do what they will with them."

"Pets?" Dean whispered.When Castiel dared to look up at him, his face was deathly pale."They're making Sam..."

Cas stepped in front of him before he could turn around and head right back into danger."Dean Winchester, listen to me," he said."There is nothing you can do for Sam right now.The only thing that will happen if you go back there is that the fae will kill you.Slowly and painfully."

"They won't even see me," Dean snapped, flapping the corner of his cloak at Castiel.

Cas snatched it out of Dean's hands and raised his eyebrows.The spell was _very_ impressive, actually, woven deftly into the fabric itself so that the spell would only fade as much as the cloth did.But all magic had its limits, and this one was so obvious that Cas was surprised that Dean hadn't been caught already."Human magic," he told Dean, making his voice as harsh as he could."It makes you inconspicuous, not invisible- _I_ can see you perfectly fine."Because Dean would never be inconspicuous to Cas, but he didn't mention that."As soon as you do something attention-grabbing, like try to steal a Marked from under their noses, they'll notice you."

"I don't care-"

"There is _nothing_ you can do," Cas said."Sam is lost, Dean."

Dean grabbed the lapels of Castiel's coat, dragging him close with unabashed fury in his eyes."Don't you fucking say that," he growled, and despite himself, Cas felt a little tremor of fear."Don't you dare say that.I'm going to save him from all of this even if it kills me, you got that?"

" _Sam_ will kill you if you get too close," Castiel said relentlessly.He couldn't let Dean do this.No matter how many years had passed since they called each other friend, he couldn't let Dean throw away his life.Dean was too bright, too precious, too wonderful to die like this."He's under the thrall of thousands of _ennesa_ right now.There's barely anything left of himself inside hims anymore.The blood they're feeding him will make him much stronger than you, and the curse they have on him will make him violent the second he sees you. _He will kill you_."He swallowed and let his voice gentle a little."I'm so sorry, Dean," he murmured.

For a moment, Dean looked like a little boy again, the one that Castiel had first seen in that clearing; but instead of a mischievous smile on his face, there was only loss and pain."No," he said, and the little boy was gone under layers and layers of desperation."You don't understand, Cas, I have to save him," Dean insisted."I _have to_ save him, I have to, I have to save...I have to save him, because if I don't..."He took a deep, shuddering breath."If I don't, then I'll be the one who killed him, don't you get it?It's my job to save him, and if I don't then I'll be _killing_ him, and I can't do that, Cas, I can't-"There were tears in Dean's eyes now, but they wouldn't fall.Dean was keeping them frozen, too lost in his mission to accept that it was impossible."I can't kill him, Cas," Dean said, looking down.

Something in his expression made Castiel's blood run cold.Something was wrong here, something he should have picked up on the instant he saw his old friend.Dean wasn't just burdened with grief right now, nor was this the pain of failing to protect his younger brother; there was guilt there in his eyes as well, guilt at something that Dean was planning to do."Dean," Castiel whispered."What have you done?"

Dean swallowed and looked away."Nothing," he said dully."Not yet anyway."He glanced at Cas again, then seemed to realize that his hands were still clutching at Castiel's coat.He let them drop slowly."It's... My dad.He... he gave me something before I came."

"The cloak?" Cas said, frowning.He'd already guessed as much, but he didn't think that a magical cloak would put such a stricken look on Dean's face.

"Yeah, the cloak, but also..."Dean took a deep breath."He also gave me this."

He pulled something out of an inside pocket: a metal ball, small enough that it fit into the palm of his hand, covered in finely detailed runes.The sight of it sent a shiver through Castiel, though he didn't know why.Whatever magic was hidden inside the ball, it was old, far older than anything made by fae or human, and Castiel couldn't read it.

"What is it?" he asked.A tremor slipped into his voice without his permission.This was magic that could change the shape of the whole universe, change the fates of both humanity and the fae alike.

"It's a spell," Dean said grimly."It won't... it won't kill the fae, not the way dad wanted to.But.. if I use it right, it... it'll close the portals between here and earth.All of them.Permanently."

Castiel stared at him.Close all the portals.That meant... that would mean... he didn't even know.The implications were too vast for him to comprehend.

"Cas you- you understand why I have to do this, right?" Dean said, suddenly desperate and wild-eyed again."The fae cross into the human world and kill anyone they find, or curse them, or just set up spells so that people will wander into them and get trapped.People are afraid to leave their homes at night, they cower inside and make useless charms to ward off evil, and the fae _still_ steal their children and their livelihoods and I can't let that happen anymore.Not if I have a chance to stop it."He was practically begging Cas now, though for what Castiel didn't know.His acceptance, perhaps, or his permission.All that Cas knew, though, was that his heart went out to this human he had befriended all those years ago.He couldn't bear to see Dean, his Dean, in so much pain; he'd never been able to bear it, truth be told."I know this is suicide, I _know_ it is, because I have to close the portals from here, I'll be stuck here too, but if I can do this, if I can save my friends and my family- I have to try."

Castiel swallowed."Dean, it's alright," he said quietly."I understand now.This is something that I never knew...I never knew this was possible, but..."He took a deep, steadying breath."This is something that should have been done centuries ago," he said."And I want to help you do it."

Dean gaped at him."You... you do?" he asked."But... I thought that you..."He closed his mouth, but the shock and confusion remained."Why?Why would you help me?"

Castiel smiled weakly.A memory tugged at him, a moment years and years and infinities ago, of Dean grinning at him and daring him to catch him.Dean didn't seem to realize- had never really understood- that ever since that moment, there was nothing that Cas wouldn't do for him.Even if Dean could never feel the same way about him, Castiel would always do anything in his power to protect him, to make him happy, to give him the life that he deserved.And if doing that meant that Dean and Sam and the rest of humanity could be safe from the monsters that preyed on them, monsters like Castiel- then all the better.

"You want to save Sam before you close the portals, don't you," Cas said, skirting around Dean's question.There wasn't an answer he could give that wouldn't send Dean running from him once again.

"I have to," Dean said, and there was that determination again, less full of fear now that Castiel had given his support."Dad said that Sam was lost the moment he was Marked, but I... I have to save Sam.I can't be the one who kills him."

Cas looked into the eyes of this human, this boy who had once dreamed of being a hero, who would settle now for not being a killer."You won't be," Castiel said."You're going to save Sam, because I'm going to help you.And then you and Sam will get through the portals before I close them for you, and you can both be safe.I promise."

Dean's face lit up with hope.Cas didn't mention that will the portals closed, they would never see each other again.Dean probably wouldn't care even if he did say something.

Besides, odds were that Cas would die that night anyway.Better him than Sam or Dean.At least he could die in peace, knowing he had saved them.His friends.

* * *

 

**_Excerpt from_ _The Epic of Anael_ _, author unknown.The full version was banned in Nawwe in the year 1129; the only surviving copy resides in the fae palace library._ **

_So Peter knelt before Hannah_  
_with his hands raised in supplication_  
_"I am your servant, great one,_  
_do with me as you please."_  
_But Hannah in her kindness_  
_knelt down with her human lover_  
_and said to him:_  
_"Do not subject yourself to me,_  
_beloved one! We are as two stars_  
_shining in the same sky._  
_Does the eagle bow to the forest?_  
_Does the sea bow to a storm?_  
_We are two parts of the same whole;_  
_one does not stand above the other,_  
_even though worlds may divide us."_

_The human and the fae stood together_  
_and shared their tenderness._  
_It was under the gaze of Mother Earth_  
_where they pledged themselves,_  
_and they knew one another most lovingly._  
_But the call of the Father was great_  
_and so the lovers parted,_  
_never to see the other again._

_After many months, Hannah bore a child_  
_into the realm of the fae._  
_The child wore her father's eyes_  
_and his strength; she carried_  
_her mother's gentleness and love_  
_with more pride than any human or fae._  
_And she was named Anael._

* * *

 

**8\. THEN**

Sam was nine years old when Dean and Cas began meeting in secret.

Not that there was anything wrong with what they were doing, Dean reasoned with himself the first day he wandered away from training.Cas wasn't like the other fae, and they were friends.If he wanted to see his friend, try to make him laugh, explore the forest with him, then he was allowed to do that.He was the son of a lord, after all.He could do what he wanted.

Not that he was going to be telling dad anytime soon, but still.He wasn't doing anything wrong.

It was easier to convince himself of that when he was met with Cas' shy smile when he reached what was rapidly becoming _their_ clearing.He smiled back at him.Cas looked so _normal_ right now, sitting on a log and plaiting pieces of grass together like a regular kid.The only difference was the electric blue of his eyes, glowing dimly even in the bright sunlight.Dean wondered if Cas glowed in the dark or something, and if he'd ever get the chance to find out.

They set off to wander around the forest together, skipping stones over ponds too small to really accommodate flying rocks, balancing on the moss-covered skeletons of toppled trees, trying to imitate the birdcalls that echoed around them.It was more fun to explore the forest with a friend, even if that friend kept Dean from slinging a well-timed stone to kill a fleeing rabbit.For a while, Dean even forgot that Cas wasn't human.

Until they reached the cliff that rose above the stream they'd been following, marking the furthest extent of their exploration.

Dean sighed, resigning himself to turn back, but he paused when he realized Cas wasn't following, instead staring at the cliff with his head tilted in consideration."C'mon, Cas, there's no way around for miles, we gotta go back," he said.

Cas frowned at him."Why would we need to go around?" he asked.

Before Dean could say anything in response, Cas took off.Dean gaped at his friend, who had launched off the ground and was now racing up the wall like a lizard.He reached the top of the sheer, fifty-foot cliff within seconds, looking down at Dean over the edge.Then his gaze moved up, over the way they had just come, down the mountains and probably all the way down into the valley below the castle.He glanced down at the cliff face again, perfectly casual like he did this every day.Hell, for all Dean knew, maybe he did.

Dean swallowed, recovering some of his shock.Not human.Right."Cas, what are you doing?" he shouted up to him.

Cas looked at him, his expression serene."Dean, you should come up here, it's beautiful," he called back.

"Are you crazy, I can't climb that!" Dean said, rolling his eyes."I'm only human, remember?"And not much of one, either.Dad could probably climb this cliff if he wanted.If he ever came home to try it.

Cas frowned at him for a moment, then shook his head."Apologies, I didn't realize your limitations," he said.Dean ground his teeth but didn't comment."I'll come down and help you," Cas added, and he leaped off the edge.

Dean found himself gaping again as Cas didn't so much fall as float, like a leaf or a kite drifting to the ground.For a moment he was silhouetted against the bright blue sky and the golden sun, and Dean imagined that he could see his wings again, colored energy sparking in the air.

He was still gaping when Cas landed lightly in front of him.The fae tilted his head and stared back, clearly confused."What?" Cas asked.

Dean coughed."Uh," he said."Nothing.You're weird, that's all."

Cas squinted at him for a moment longer, and then his expression broke into a grin that was brighter than the sun.It was the first time Dean had ever seen him smile fully, and for some reason it made his heart pound a little.He decided to ignore it."Well?" Cas said, turning so that his back was to Dean and shooting that smile over his shoulder."Hop on, let's go."

If it had been anyone else, Dean might have refused- he gave piggy-back rides to Sam and Jo, he didn't _get_ them, he wasn't a kid.But this was Cas, and Cas was special.He jumped onto Cas' back.

The instant his weight was settled, Cas ran toward the cliff like Dean weighed nothing at all.Dean clutched at his shoulders with a white-knuckled grip and squeezed his eyes shut against the sight of the cliff coming closer and closer, far too quickly for comfort.Instead of his very possible imminent death, the wind whistling past his ears and the rapid movement of Cas' arms and legs as they fought against gravity, he focused on the feel of Cas' skin against his.It was oddly hot and smooth, both human and not at the same time.There was a strange smell, too, like woodsmoke on a crisp winter evening.Dean found himself taking in deep lungfuls of it, so much that he felt warm and dizzy from it.

"Dean, you can get down now," Cas murmured gently.

Dean's eyes snapped open.They were standing at the top of the cliff, looking out over the tops of the trees and down the mountainside.He could see the stream wandering down the slope, occasionally pouring over bare rock like an exposed vein in the skin of the world, leading inexorably downhill.And there, in the distance, were the turrets of the castle, the trails of smoke billowing up from the village.It all looked so impossibly small from up here.

"Wow," he breathed, slipping off Cas' back.

"Your world is amazing," Cas said.a note of wistfulness hummed in the melody of his voice, wrapping around both of them with a soft, sighing whisper of _if only_...

They remained at the lip of the cliff for a long time, silent and calm as they looked out over the edge.Just the two of them, their problems distant and small from where they stood at the top of the world.

It was definitely better to go exploring with Cas.

***

Sam was ten years old, just barely, when Cas went to his and Dean's meeting spot, and for the first time in the three months they'd known each other, Dean didn't come.

After waiting for hours, Castiel found himself pacing the clearing restlessly.A very human activity, pacing, but he couldn't bring himself to care.Worry gnawed at him in turns between the hurt and the anger.Dean should be here, but he wasn't.Had he finally tired of Castiel's company?Had something happened to him, another fae trap maybe, or maybe just a mundane accident that had broken his fragile human body?

Dean should be here.

Castiel gave a frustrated flap of his invisible wings and left the clearing.He couldn't just sit and wait if Dean was in trouble.And if Dean just didn't want to see him again- well, he'd want to know that too.Better if Dean was safe and hating him than hurt or dead.

There were four people in the castle's training yard when he reached his old hiding place.Dean was there, going through his practice routine with his sword, his face grim and focused.Castiel breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of him safe and sound, ignoring the twist of pain in his gut.If Dean would rather practice killing fae than see Cas, then so be it.As long as he was safe.As long as Castiel could protect him.

Bobby Singer and Sam watched Dean silently, as well as a man Castiel had never seen before.The man followed Dean's movements with a critical eye, occasionally leaning over to murmur something to Bobby.Sam kept glancing at him with wide eyes, somehow managing to look happy and worried and angry all at the same time.

Castiel looked back at Dean, watching his graceful dance with increasing awe.Dean had improved incredibly in the months since Cas had secretly watched him practice.He wasn't flawless, the way a fae would be if they tried the same combination, even one as clumsy as Castiel.But the little hesitations, the wavering flow, the fierce concentration, all only served to make the practice combination a more beautiful dance.

Dean swung the sword in a half circle around himself, eyes scanning the trees to find invisible enemies.He was in the middle of a strong lunge when his gaze landed on Cas' hiding place.His eyes widened as he looked straight at Castiel, and he slipped in his lunge.He caught himself before he fell, but just barely; the combination was ruined.

"Dean," the unfamiliar man said sharply.

Dean yanked his eyes away from Castiel and moved to restart the practice pattern."Sorry dad," he said."I'll get it right this time, I swear."

"Get it right tomorrow," the man said.He looked at his son with a tangible air of disappointment.Dean flinched."This is what I'm talking about, Bobby," John Winchester continued."he's never going to be able to hold his own against a fae if you let him go galavanting off every day instead of practicing."

"Dad-" Dean said quietly, but John cut him off with a glance.

"No excuses, Dean," John instructed."It's down to us to do this.But you have to be strong enough, fast enough, and ruthless enough to survive.To save Sam.You can do that, right?"

"Yes sir," Dean said, but his eyes drifted back to Castiel as John turned away, and they were full of guilt and conflict.

***

Sam was ten years old when John left again on yet another quest, only three weeks after coming home.Dean hated himself for the sigh of relief he let out when dad disappeared down the road, and hated himself even more when the very first thing he did was abandon his training session to scamper off into the forest.

The world brightened again when he saw Castiel's relieved smile."You came," Cas said, and his expression was one of pure joy.

"Yeah," Dean said, and suddenly he knew that he could never leave Cas like that again.Come hell or high water.

***

Sam was eleven years old- only seven years to go- when a fair passed through the village near Dean's home, and Dean became determined that Cas go with him.

"What's a fair?" Cas asked suspiciously.He knew Dean well enough to recognize that spark of mischief in his eyes, and to be wary of it.

"You guys don't have fairs?" Dean said incredulously."They're the best!They travel around with all these actors and acrobats and traders and artisans, and they do all these shows and sell really cool stuff you can't get anywhere else, and the point is, they're only in town for _three days_ before they leave for who knows how long."

"So the fair will be crowded then?" Cas said, seeing a flaw in Dean's logic.Dean was a little slow to catch on.

"Yeah, but that's the best part," Dean said gleefully."It's like a big party with music and dancing and food and everything.C'mon Cas, we might not get to chance to go to one again!"

Castiel sighed."I don't really have the chance to now," he said firmly.His voice was a lot deeper now than it was when they first met, lending his tone an impressive rumble.Unfortunately, it didn't seem to have any effect on Dean."Do I have to remind you that I'm not actually human?" he continued."I probably won't have very much fun if the main event is me getting drawn and quartered."

Dean waved his hand dismissively- which was not exactly the reaction Cas would have wanted at the mention of his impending death."You look human enough, it's fine," Dean said."And anyway, everyone will be too busy with the fair to notice you.If they do, they'll just assume you're one of the attractions or something."He leaned closer to Cas, right next to his face with his eyes large and shining."Please?Please come with me?It won't be fun without you."

Cas meant to refuse, but it was a little difficult when Dean was looking at him like that, like all his hopes and dreams depended on what Castiel said right now.Then again, he had a hard time denying Dean anything even without Dean resorting to begging.All it took was to see the dejected but resigned look in Dean's eyes, like he was mentally preparing himself for when Cas said no but fearing it all the same, and Cas couldn't bear to refuse him; and when he said yes, Dean would grin like he'd given him the most precious gift in the world, clapping him on the shoulder or even hugging him, and sending Cas' heart into a familiar but undefined tumult of emotion.

Which was exactly what happened this time, and was how he found himself side by side with Dean in the village, pretending to be human while everyone around them pretended to be anything but.

He gaped at the bustling crowd around them and stayed pressed against Dean's side, scared and awed all at once.The humans passed around him like he wasn't there- no, like he was one of them, a part of the happiness and childlike excitement bubbling all around them.Dean grinned at him but didn't pull away.All around them the humans continued, more than Castiel had ever seen at one time, all of them talking and laughing and pointing at the marvels around them.There were acrobats performing feats of strength and agility that shocked even Castiel- a fae might be able to walk on a thin wire without falling, but they would have their wings to stabilize them, and these humans had nothing.A man in an extravagant hat pulled a live dove out of the air behind Dean's ear, earning gasps of awe from the adoring crowd and Dean the gift of the hat plopped unceremoniously on his head.Cas laughed when the ridiculous thing nearly overbalanced his friend; Dean glowered at him until his eyes lit on a face-painting table nearby, and rubbed half a bowl of blue paint onto Cas' face in retaliation.

"It brings out your eyes," Dean said unhelpfully as Cas sputtered, trying to spit out what had gotten into his mouth.Cas could only glare at him, but even that was ruined by the smile that kept trying to sneak into his expression.

He and Dean weren't the only people who had been redecorated in the spirit of the fair: humans all around them were dressed in strange clothes and wearing even stranger masks.Some of them had their faces painted like animals, some of them wore ridiculously overwrought clothing made out of repurposed rags, and some of them were dressed as fantastical creatures.A few of the strange appearances were a part of the fair, such as the group of minstrels dressed as people from an ancient civilization, or the ragtag group performing a comedic play and constantly moving out of the way of the crowd passing between them.But Castiel saw some familiar faces as well, people he'd seen over the years who lived in the village, dressed just as absurdly just because this was a place where they could.Suddenly he knew why Dean hadn't been worried about him standing out here.In the midst of humans playing at other lives, other worlds, no one would notice that he wasn't pretending.

"Sammy!" Dean called happily as they reached the main square of the village.He grabbed his brother's arm and pulled him into a playful headlock.

"Get off, Dean!" Sam protested.Dean obliged after giving Sam's hair a good tousle.Sam straightened with a glare, straightening his hair angrily."I asked you not to do that, Dean," he said."It hurts, and I don't-"His eyes fell on Castiel, and he stopped talking.

Cas froze as well.Not a good idea after all.A terrible idea.Sam knew who he was, what he was, and all it would take was one outcry, just one little sound...

But to his surprise, Sam nearly stepped closer and held out his hand to Castiel with all the formality an eleven-year-old could muster."Castiel, right?" he said."You saved me from the fae trap."He squinted at Cas' face underneath the dried remnants of paint."You look different."

Cas glanced at Dean, then shook Sam's hand hesitantly."As do you," he said."I suppose that's what happens when time passes."He didn't mention that the biggest difference in Sam's appearance was the darkening of the Mark on his forehead.

Sam squinted at him suspiciously."Are you making fun of me?" he asked.

Dean laughed, wrapping his arm around Sam's shoulders."That's just Cas, Sam," he said lightly, shooting Cas a grin that warmed him all the way down to his bones."He's weird, don't worry about it.Hey, how about we go sign up for the archery contest?"

The three of them wandered around the fair together.Dean led them on a chaotic route, suddenly seeming even younger than Sam in the face of bright lights and unheard of marvels.He and Sam handily won the junior's archery contest, first and second place, and they immediately spent all their winnings on chocolates and toffee and cider.When Dean saw the game booths, he immediately chugged the rest of his cider and declared that he would win Sam one of the stuffed toys offered as prizes, causing Sam to whine that he wasn't a child anymore, which then only served to spur Dean on.Castiel couldn't stop laughing at the look on Dean's face as he lined up the wooden ball with the pins he was meant to knock over; and when he failed to knock over a single one, Cas stepped in and got them all in one shot.

Dean accepted the plush toy with as much dignity as he could, given that Cas and Sam were laughing uproariously at the bright pink color of his cheeks.

The fair was like nothing Castiel had ever experienced before.The fae had feasts and festivals, but they were all either somber and cold, or wild and feral.There was nothing like this, a controlled and happy chaos like the froth on the top of the ale Dean bought for him, or the bubbles floating around them to be popped by jubilant children.It wasn't a celebration with a purpose or a hidden agenda: it was happiness for the sake of happiness, a celebration where fears and troubles were merely put aside for the moment in favor of laughter and joy and beauty.It was breathtaking.

And the most breathtaking part was Dean, grinning at him over a mug of frothy ale, his eyes shining in the lamplight.

***

Sam was twelve- six years to go- when John began returning more frequently to train Dean in all the techniques he'd learned to kill fae, all their strengths and weaknesses in battle- and nothing about their quiet grace or their ability to be kind that Cas taught him.John kept Dean so busy that Dean and Cas could no longer see each other every day like they used to.When they did see each other, neither one of them mentioned what was keeping them apart.Neither one mentioned the fae attacks on humans were increasing, in frequency and in viciousness; they didn't mention that John was training Dean to try to stop something that couldn't be stopped.

They didn't mention the fact that they were enemies.

***

Sam was thirteen- five years to go- and Castiel took Dean up to the top of the cliff again.Dean shut his eyes and gripped Cas' shoulders tightly as the fae clambered up the cliff face- no matter how many times they did this, he never got used to the climbing part.When they reached the top, Dean sighed and looked out over the horizon.The view was just as gorgeous as it usually was, and yet for some reason the castle seemed to loom over him today, rather than receding into the distance.

Sam was thirteen, and they were running out of time to save him.

"I won't be able to get away tomorrow," Dean said with a sigh, sitting down next to his friend."My dad came home with a new kind of weapon, and he wants to train me on it.Not that it'll do much good, since we don't even-"He stopped himself.It was his job, he reminded himself fiercely.His quest.Look after Sammy."Apparently it's really cool, though.It'll be fun to train on something new."

Cas paused as he was picking flowers that had decided to bloom around him in the space of a few minutes.At least he was better at controlling that power now, not like when they were kids and he almost drowned them in a sea of wildflowers that refused to stop growing."Will it?" Cas said, tilting his head.

"Of course!" Dean said with a grin."I love new weapons- remember those flame arrows I showed you?Tomorrow's going to be fantastic."

Cas frowning, returning to his flower picking."Then why do you sound sad about it?"

Dean swallowed and looked down.Trust Cas to see right through him without even trying.He considered lying some more, but then Cas would just give him that look and Dean would end up spilling everything anyway."It's just..." he began, struggling to find the right words and feeling guilty that he was even thinking about this in the first place."Sometimes I wish my dad could bring me home something other than a weapon.Sometimes... sometimes I wish I could, I don't know, train with Benny the blacksmith, or... or maybe with Ellen in the kitchen.It's stupid though.Sam needs my help, so I... I can't do any of that."

Cas looked down, then sat up from where he'd been lying on his stomach.The flowers he'd picked nestled in his lap, vibrant and colorful."It would be easier if the world didn't expect things from us," he murmured."I wonder what that would be like."His fingers began to move, weaving the flowers together while he gazed absently into the distance."I've been... training, I suppose you could say, with one of our princes, and there's a lot that's been required of me, lately.A lot that they expect from me, and yet I..."He trailed off, looking at the flowers again."It would be easier if we could just _be_."

They were silent for a long time.Dean watched as Cas' long fingers wove the flowers together, wondering what it was the fae expected of his friend.Was he supposed to hate humans just as much as the other fae did?Set traps and brand Marks on the skin of a newborn child?Steal Sam away in the middle of the night and leaving a bloody trail behind him?

Dean shuddered and looked back over the edge of the cliff, at the castle looming in the distance.It seemed even closer, even more tall and imposing now.

"Here," Cas said suddenly, putting something on his head.

He frowned and tried to see it, his eyes crossing in the effort, before giving up and taking it off.A flower crown, much more elaborate than the ones Jo used to make as a kid.He snorted."Thanks, but I think it's too pretty for me," he said, handing it back.

"Ah yes, I forgot that flowers are a taboo amongst manly human warriors," Cas said mockingly.He put the crown on his own head and gave Dean a regal look."How does it look?"

Dean ignored the way his breath caught as the sunlight picked out the colors of the flowers nestled in Cas' dark hair, the bright blue of his eyes, the beautiful lines of his face.He looked like a painting, a portrait by some important artist commissioned by the king himself.

"Like a guy wearing flowers," Dean said with a snort, pushing the tremulous feeling building in his gut aside.He couldn't help but smile at Cas' eyeroll, the brilliance of his eyes and his mirthful expression, the way the flowers sat on his head for the rest of the afternoon anyway, to Dean's secret delight.He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to run away with him, far enough that the looming castle had disappeared and Cas' duties had disappeared and they could just be like Cas had said.Together, just the two of them.

It was a ridiculous fantasy, of course.He let it slip from his mind as he arrived back at the castle and lay down in his bed between thick stone walls.He couldn't run away with Cas, could barely take the time to see him.Dean had to save Sam.There was nothing else he was good for.

***

Sam was fourteen when everything changed, and it was all Castiel's fault.

* * *

 

** _Excerpt from Sam's journal_ **

_Today was my fourteenth birthday.Dad left two days ago, just in time to miss it- not that I expected anything different- but Dean, Jo, Bobby, and Ellen surprised me with a cake after dinner._

_It feels a little weird to actually celebrate my birthday.Everyone is always so tense about it, so even though they all smile and laugh and do all the things you're supposed to do when you celebrate, it still feels more like a funeral than anything else.Everyone mourning the passing of another year.One step closer to my stupid destiny._

_Just once I'd like to celebrate my birthday without this stupid curse looming over everything._

_On the plus side, Bobby got me a new book- Wyland's_ _History of the Northern Kingdoms_ _!I can't imagine how he got his hands on it, since I'd heard that the last surviving copies were all the way in the Royal Library.Maybe those traders who came a few weeks ago brought it with them.Dean said that Lisa, their daughter, has all kinds of stuff that came from the city, so maybe they did Bobby a favor and stopped by the Library as well._

_Dean said that he didn't have a present for me, but once everyone else was gone he pulled me aside and gave me a small wooden carving in the shape of a pair of wings.He told he that Cas carved it for me, as a good luck charm.I kind of have to wonder what hope I have of surviving all this if a wooden charm is all that Cas can offer as protection._

_Maybe the next time I seem him I'll have the courage to ask what's going to happen to me._

* * *

 

**9\. THEN**

Castiel let out a quiet sigh of relief when Michael finally excused him with a casual gesture.His duties for the prince were more complicated and interesting than they had been when he was a fledgeling, but sometimes he wished he could go back to sorting stacks of paper instead.Especially on days like today when all the other aides were chatting excitedly about the upcoming Awntiad- even Uriel, who always said he hated the festival until he was too absorbed in enjoying it to be superior about it.Especially on a day where they had been tasked with recording and cataloging five years worth of backlog detailing every human who had been killed or captured as pets by the fae.

Looking down at the long columns of names in his own neat handwriting, Cas suppressed the bile curdling in his throat.These records were just being made for the sake of being thorough; but all that he could see was a list of casualties in a war that his own kind was waging.

He could breathe a little easier once he was outside the main palace.He rushed to the entrance of his own secret portal as quickly as he could without drawing suspicion, cursing quietly to himself every time he had to backtrack or hide to avoid meeting any of his fellow aides.He needed to see Dean.If he could see Dean, then he would feel better.No matter what was weighing on Cas, it always weighed a little less when Dean was around, smiling at him, laughing in the sunlight.It didn't matter that Castiel didn't have a place with the other fae; he had Dean, and that was all that he needed.

He reached their meeting place with nearly half an hour to spare before the time they'd agreed on.Usually, he waited quietly for Dean to appear, soaking in the sunlight and the life blossoming around him.But today he was too restless to appreciate the soft breeze stirring the leaves of the trees, the distant babble of the stream.He waited in the clearing for only a few minutes before the uneasiness that had been churning in his stomach since he began his duties today became too much for him to stand.

He'd just meet Dean at the castle then.

His heart pounded with excitement as he neared the human building.He couldn't explain to himself- could never explain to himself- why the prospect of seeing Dean was always so wonderful that his stomach filled with fluttering wings and his breath hitched with anticipation.He didn't see Dean every day anymore, but their meetings were still constant enough that the exuberance ought to have worn off by now; except that instead of fading, it seemed to be getting more and more intense every time they met.

Speculation about his own bizarre reactions slipped from his mind as soon as he reached the castle: Dean was there, and he didn't care to examine the way just the sight of him made a little tension leak out of his grace.

Except that Dean wasn't alone, and that gave Cas pause- enough that he hovered in the tree line, keeping hidden instead of greeting Dean like he'd planned.He didn't recognize the girl Dean was talking to in a low voice, his head close to hers and a smile playing on his lips.She had dark hair and skin, and a sweet, kind smile.She laughed at something Dean said and he blushed; her hand moved to touch the reddened skin softly.

Something ached in Castiel's heart, a sharp contrast to the shivering excitement from only a moment before.He'd never seen Dean like this before.Even when he was laughing or playing or teasing, Dean always held his burdens on his shoulders, trapping him, keeping him from the freedom he so clearly craved.But now... Dean seemed happy, standing here with this girl.Even if it was just for a brief moment, this girl- this stranger- had done something that Cas had never managed in all his years of knowing Dean.A moment of true peace.

He smiled softly at Dean's peaceful expression- but it slid off his face the very next moment as Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips to the girl's.

Kissing her.Dean was _kissing_ her, touching her, slipping his tongue into her mouth.Bile rose up from Cas' stomach, choking him with an emotion too big, too complex for him to understand.Something like sadness, like anger, like jealousy and pain, like longing and desire and desperation.Something like all of those, and yet like none of them.All he knew was that the ache inside his grace had opened up into a gaping chasm, and he had no idea how to fill it.

He rushed back to the portal, not entering it, but not going to the meeting place either.He couldn't face Dean like this.Not when the image of Dean's body pressing against someone- someone _else_ , a voice in the back of his mind whispered- was still fresh in his mind's eye.Not when he was so confused and yearning that he could barely think.

He shook his wings, rubbed his eyes, took a breath.A breeze danced around him in the rippling sunlight, and the living colors of the flowers and leaves and grass danced with it.Somewhere close by, a bird chirped out a soft little tune, and flew to another tree with a sharp flutter of its wings.He took another deep breath, and a small measure of peace settled over his turbulent grace.Not a lot, but enough to give him some clarity.

He was being absurd.Dean deserved to find someone who could make him happy.Someone who could make him peaceful.Who was Cas to deny his friend any and all happiness he could get, including the happiness of finding a mate?

His heart twisted again, painfully, but he pushed the feeling aside.He would support Dean's happiness in any way that he could, and that was that.

Decision made, Cas wandered back to the meeting place, letting the calm of the forest seep into his skin as he walked.At least he would see Dean.No matter what else what going on, as long as he got to see Dean nothing else mattered.

Dean grinned at him when he saw Cas stepping into the clearing.There were still spots of pink on Dean's cheeks, and his lips were slightly swollen.Cas looked away from them quickly."There you are," Dean said lightly, clapping him on the shoulder."I was starting to get worried."

"Apologies," Castiel said."Michael held us later than I expected."He hated lying to Dean; but if telling the truth meant Dean would get uncomfortable around him, the alternative was always better.

Dean sat down on a nearby log, stretching luxuriously.For some reason, Cas found his eyes drawn to the strip of skin along his hips that was usually hidden under Dean's shirt.He swallowed and jerked his eyes away, only for them to follow the long lines of Dean's stretching muscles, the little dip of his collarbone, the hollow beneath his jaw.He swallowed again.What the hell was wrong with him?

"No worries," Dean said as he finished stretching.He didn't seem to notice Castiel's distraction."I was just wondering."He blinked up at Cas and shaded his eyes."Hey, could you sit or something?It's kind of hard to look directly into the sun."

I could say the same to you, Castiel almost blurted out.He stopped himself just in time.He sat down next to Dean on the log instead of saying something that would _definitely_ make Dean uncomfortable.

Sitting on the log turned out to be a mistake.They'd sat side by side on it for years with never a problem, but both of them had grown in recent years.The log wasn't quite wide enough for the two of them to sit comfortably anymore, forcing them to sit far closer together than Castiel would have chosen.

In fact, he was having trouble breathing as the entire side of Dean's body brushed against his.He'd never felt particularly odd about touching Dean, even enjoyed the companionship that touch could convey when words failed.But for some reason, after seeing Dean pressed up against that girl, his skin was suddenly hypersensitive to the warmth emanating from Dean's body, the featherlight pressure easing and pushing with every breath.

Dean was saying something, gesturing animatedly with his beautiful hands.Cas couldn't hear a word, too lost in staring at him, the vibrancy of his expression, the grace of his movements, the bright green in his eyes, the soft pink of his lips-

Cas moved before he even knew what it was he wanted to do.The only thing he could think of was Dean next to him, Dean kissing someone, and now in his imagination, that someone was _him_.

Except no, Dean wasn't kissing Cas; Cas was the one who was kissing _Dean_.He could feel Dean's breath mingling with his own, the wet slide of their lips pressing together, the warmth of Dean's skin underneath his fingers.He gasped at the electricity punching through him, the wave of want so overwhelming that the only thought in his mind was _Dean_ , and he was drowning in it.

And then Dean's lips ripped away from him, and Castiel felt the wind knocked out of him as he slammed into the ground.

"What the hell was that?" Dean shouted.He stood above him with his fists clenched, fury burning in his eyes, ready to do more than just shove Cas the next time.

"I-" Castiel said, trying to catch his breath through the throb of pain in his spine, and the lingering taste of Dean in his mouth."I was kissing you."

"Yeah, I got that part," Dean spat, wiping his mouth clean of whatever Cas had left behind." _Why_ were you kissing me?"

"I wanted to," Castiel said.He would have thought that was obvious.

Dean's face twisted in disgust, and Castiel felt like he was going to be sick."Well, _don't_ ," Dean snapped."Jesus, what the hell is wrong with you?You really are broken, you know that?"

Castiel was shaking now, Dean's words and his tone and his expression punching holes in his lungs.He'd never thought that he'd hear Dean saying these things, the way the other fae did.Dean was his safe space, the only person in both worlds who accepted him, who didn't think he was broken and wrong and disgusting."What's wrong with kissing?" he asked desperately.Maybe if he pretended he was ignorant, like he couldn't feel the monumental importance of that kiss sinking into his very bones, maybe then Dean would forgive him for it.Maybe they could go back to the way things had been.Maybe Dean wouldn't hate him for one moment of weakness."You were kissing that girl."

"That's different!" Dean shouted.His eyes were wide with what might have been fear, or maybe it was just plain old fury."She's a girl, so I can kiss her.But boys do _not_ kiss other boys!"

"I'm not a boy," Castiel said, and instantly regretted it.

The the emotion raging in Dean's face closed off, leaving nothing but a cold hard mask that Cas knew would haunt him for the rest of his life."That's right," Dean said, his voice flat and distant and poisonous."You're not a boy, you're a _fae_."The word dripped with all the hatred Dean had been hoarding for fourteen years, now focused completely on Castiel.

Cas swallowed."You don't want to kiss me because I'm fae?" he asked quietly, but he knew what the real reason was.He was broken, after all.His own kind were disappointed in him, and it had only been a matter of time before humanity was too.

"I don't want to kiss you _period_ ," Dean hissed, just like Castiel had known he would."In fact, I don't ever want to _see_ you again, got it?If you ever come near me or my family again, I'll kill you like I should have done years ago."

"Dean-" Cas whispered.

For a moment, Dean's expression opened again, wide and vulnerable and terrified.But then the anger returned, and he ran away without another word, disappearing from Castiel's life forever.

The sun shone its warmth into the clearing, breathing life into the flowers and trees, and a slight breeze danced around it all.The world was a warm and living and beautiful place; but all that Castiel could feel was the sharp cold of his solitude.

* * *

 

_Dear Dean,_

_After all these years of fruitless searching, I may have finally found something real.I found a book that mentioned a spell created by the Old Gods as a failsafe.If the tension between the two worlds became too great, the book said, a certain spell performed at a certain time can end the conflict once and for all._

_The book didn't mention how the spell would accomplish that, and indeed indicated that this is no more than speculation based on legend.However, something about it struck me differently than all the wild goose chases I've been on over the years.It's going to take some more digging, but I think I might be able to find where this spell is being hidden, and how to use it to our advantage._

_One thing is for sure, though.If we don't figure out how to deal with the fae soon, we'll quickly find ourselves at war with an opponent too strong for us to beat._

_Look after Sam until I return._

_-John_

* * *

 

**10\. NOW**

Dean cradled the metal sphere in his hands, tracing the grooves running around the exterior in unreadable runes and patterns.He could hear the faint sounds of the feast in the distance, the throbbing beat of music and eerie shrieks of the fae enjoying themselves at their human captives' expense.He shuddered; his fingers slipped on the intricate patterns.

The courtyard that Cas had taken him to was small and out of the way, but no less surreally decadent than the rest of the realm of the fae.The stone underneath them was textured and frosted like granite, but Dean was fairly sure they were actually standing on giant blocks of diamond that extended underneath hedges made of frozen flames.A blue-white light shimmered softly in the corner: the portal, waiting to take them back to earth.Dean resolutely ignored it, instead looking at the center of the courtyard, where fine sand poured up into the air in a fountain, arching over their heads only to dip to the earth as the emerald branches of a willow tree.The branches kept this corner of the fae palace quiet, peaceful, shielding them from the chaos of Awntiad.

Dean wondered if this courtyard was meant for lovers.The thought sent a shiver down his spine, so he very pointedly directed his train of thought elsewhere.

He glanced up at Cas where he was standing by the screen of leaves, listening intently.Everything about this place was strange and frightening, and Dean could feel each second ticking by deep in his bones; but out of everything, maybe the strangest and most frightening thing was Cas.

Cas who had been his best friend.Cas who had stood by him through everything, who had always been there for him, who had liked him for _him_ instead of what he could do.Cas who had kissed him.Cas who he had tossed aside like he was nothing because of that.By all rights, Cas should hate him.And yet here he was, not only treating Dean just like he had when they were kids together, but _helping_ him deal the most serious blow that had ever been dealt to the fae.Nothing about any of that mane any kind of sense.

And yet somehow, it was... comfortable, familiar, sitting here like this with Cas by his side.They hadn't seen each other in four years, after the kind of fight that lingered and festered over years and years; but still, it felt the same.Just the two of them in their own quiet corner of the world.It was almost perfect, just being near him again.

Cas turned back to Dean with a sigh.Dean looked away quickly, hoping that Cas hadn't noticed that Dean had been staring, drinking in the sight with all the desperation of a dying man in a desert.He'd missed Cas a lot more than he'd thought he had; or maybe it was that he hadn't allowed himself to think about it at all.

"They've just begun the Dance of the Union," Cas said wearily, moving to sit down next to Dean.Here in the realm of the fae, no flowers burst out of the earth to greet him; everything here was cold and lifeless."That will go on for about an hour.We might have a chance to get Sam once it's done."

Dean frowned, trying to process what Cas was actually saying, the reason why they were both here in the first place, rather than the odd warmth that bloomed in his gut when Cas was near him."Why, what happens then?"

"There's a... a trial, is what we call it," Cas said quietly."The magical energy of those who are holding the Marked captive will be weakest then, when they're focused on other things."

"What other things?"

Cas didn't look at him."On fighting each other," he said."Each _ennesa_ that wish to possess a human pet lays a claim on the Marked they prefer, and they fight for the right to reserve their claim."

Dean swallowed and wished he hadn't asked.

"It means they'll be too concerned with the trial to feel it if a human breaks loose," Cas told him."It's our only shot."

"Right," Dean said, nodding instead of throwing up like he wanted to."So we grab Sam during these trials-"

"During _his_ trial," Cas added."It has to be his trial, otherwise the spell on him won't be weak enough for us to break."

"-during _his_ trial, and then we get him through the portal?"Dean glanced at the portal lying in wait in the corner of the courtyard.It shimmered a little brighter, as if it could sense him watching it.He looked away again quickly.Sam was the one who would need to use that, not him."And once Sam's through, I'll be able to close those suckers once and for all."

Cas squinted at him.His gaze was just as piercing as Dean remembered- maybe even more so now, underneath his own skies."What do you mean, _you_ will be closing the portals?"

Dean looked away, unable to hold Cas' eyes for very long."I mean that I'll close the portals, once I get you and Sam out of here," he said, trying to make his tone as firm as possible.

"Oh, is that right?" Cas said, anger heating his tone to an almost scalding degree."You're going to send me and your brother off and then _trap_ yourself here to be killed?"

"I told you, the portals have to be closed from this side," Dean said."I gotta do this."

"Right," Cas said."Or, if you're done being an idiot, you could take your brother through the portal yourself, and then _I_ could close the portals."

"Like hell am I leaving you here to get killed!" Dean snapped, finally looking back up at the fae.Cas actually looked taken aback at that, as if it had never occurred to him that Dean would care what happened to him.Dean hadn't given him too many reasons to believe it."You think I don't know what they'll do to you once they find out what you've done?You've never wanted to be here, so this is your chance to get out while you still can."

"And you think that I can leave _you_ behind to be killed instead?" Cas snapped back, anger overcoming his brief surprise."I might have a chance of convincing them not to kill me, but you-"

"I have to do this, Cas," Dean said, and something in his voice must have given Cas some pause, because he stopped protesting and looked at Dean with wide, searching eyes."This is my job.My quest, remember?"He gave his old friend a weak smile.

"Dean-"

"It's alright," Dean told him."If I can do this- If I can save Sammy and protect my home, then it'll all be worth it.Hell, I'll be a hero."The metal ball was heavy in his hands, dragging him down to a place he'd always known he'd been heading toward.Might as well get there today, when it would mean something."This is my fight, not yours."

A stubborn spark flared in Cas' eyes, but he didn't argue the point, just looked away in frustration.Dean swallowed and looked down, wishing he could... hell, he didn't even know.Take back all the time they'd spent together, maybe, all the time that had somehow convinced Cas that Dean was worth dying for.Wishing they had never met in the first place, so that Cas could live a long, normal life without Dean Winchester dragging him through the mud after him.

"Besides," Dean continued lightly, trying to shake away the thought."Maybe the spell won't just close the portals.Dad said it was made by the old gods to protect the humans from the fae, and vice versa, right?So it would make sense if it spit everything human out of the realm of the fae while the portals close, so that the two world are totally separate.Putting the worlds back in order, yeah?"

Cas looked at him again with those bright blue eyes.Dean felt his throat go dry at the sadness in them, deeper than it should be in someone his own age."Maybe," Cas said simply.Dean could tell he didn't really believe it.

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the distant revelry.Dean found himself fidgeting with the sphere again, and forced himself to stop; but without the distraction, his eyes kept darting back to look at Cas, his mind drifting back to the memories they had built together.The time they had pranked Sam so badly that he'd been afraid to open doors for weeks afterward.The time Dean had tripped and broken his arm, and Cas had healed it with fae magic without a second thought, even though Dean could tell that Cas had been tired and slow for the rest of the day.The way Cas would smile whenever he managed to make Dean laugh, a small, triumphant, and gloriously happy half-smile because he'd made Dean happy.The kindness in Cas' eyes, and the feeling like Cas was the only person in both worlds who understood Dean as he really was.

The feeling of Cas' lips pressed against his in that one shining moment before terror had set in, and Dean had ruined everything.

Against his will, his eyes dropped down to Cas' lips, his traitorous mind dwelling on the memory, so brief but so intense that Dean could remember every detail of it even now.The soft texture of Cas' lips, the warmth of his skin only a little higher than a human's, the way Cas' mouth had opened ever so slightly and gave Dean a tantalizing taste of what it might be like to kiss him properly.And then, of course, the pain and panic that spiked somewhere underneath the terror when he pushed Cas away, the ache begging him to pull Cas right back, forget his fear and taste the starlight again.

He wondered what would have become of them if he'd listened.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out suddenly.

Cas frowned, tilting his head in an achingly familiar gesture."For what?" he asked.

Dean shifted in his seat, no longer sure of what he'd wanted to say."For everything.For what happened," he said."You know, when you...When I told you I didn't want to see you again."

"Dean-" Cas murmured.

"I shouldn't have said those things," Dean interrupted, his voice getting firmer with each word."I was scared, and I lashed out, but...You were my best friend, and you didn't- you don't deserve that.I shouldn't have pushed you away, I should've...I... um..."He took a deep breath."I'm surprised you don't hate me, after everything.God knows I gave you enough reasons."

Cas looked down at his hands and gave a deep sigh."I wanted to," he confessed quietly."I wanted to be angry with you and blame you and hate you, and anything else that would... that would mean I could stop missing you."

Dean's breath caught in his throat.He swallowed and tried to ignore the fluttering in his stomach.

"I could never hate you, Dean," Cas said.His voice was so quiet that Dean could barely hear him."Never.Now matter how much I might want to."He paused, still resolutely avoiding Dean's eyes.

Dean waited silently, uncomfortably aware of how hard his heart was beating, how he could feel the heat of Cas' body next to him.

"I'm sorry too," Cas said after a moment."I lied, the last time I saw you.I knew what it meant to kiss you, and I knew how you would react if I did, but I did it anyway.I was selfish and ruined everything, and I've spent four years wishing I had just...I'm sorry, Dean."

Something shivery and strange was seeping through Dean's body, all at once familiar and unfamiliar.The last time he'd felt like this, Cas had kissed him, and he'd run away in terror at the warmth that had blossomed inside him.But... strangely, he wasn't scared of it now.Maybe it was because the fear of a little physical contact with another boy paled in comparison to the prospect of pulling Sam out from under the noses of hundreds of fae.Maybe it was because he had managed to grow up a little in the years since Cas had kissed him.

Or maybe it was just because it was _Cas_ , and however scared Dean had been before, it was impossible to feel it when Cas was sitting by his side, ready to help him take on the world.

Dean cleared his throat."So," he said, struggling to lighten the conversation, drag it away from the dangerous territory it was determined to find."Last night on earth, what are your plans?"

Cas shot him a wry look."Well, I thought I might just sit here quietly," he quipped, rolling his eyes.But before he looked away, Dean could have sworn he saw his eyes drop down to Dean's lips."Why, what do you want to do?" Cas asked, snapping his gaze back up to Dean's eyes instead.Those goddamn blue eyes bore into Dean's, and everything in the world seemed to freeze.

Dean swallowed.What the hell, right?He was going to die tonight anyway.Might as well do something he wouldn't have a chance to regret later.

He leaned forward and kissed Cas.

For a brief, heart-stopping moment, Cas sat frozen and unresponsive- long enough for a flash of panic to pass through Dean.What if Cas felt differently now?What if enough time had passed, what if Cas didn't want anything to do with him anymore, what if-

The panic flew out of Dean's head as Cas suddenly came alive, kissing him back with a fervor and desperation that was almost shocking.Shocking, but so fucking good that Dean could barely breathe.Cas' fingers slipped through Dean's hair and curled tightly, tugging and scratching just enough to dim all coherent thoughts in his head.He gasped and pulled Cas closer, opening his mouth and relishing the smooth texture of Cas' lips, the electric touch of his tongue.

The last time they'd kissed, Cas had tasted like starlight and lightning, so powerful that Dean could feel his lips tingling for hours- for days, months, years- afterward.But now, he just tasted like _Cas_ , and still the electricity in his touch was enough that Dean could feel it buzzing all the way through his bones, enough that he never wanted to be without it.

Cas pressed even closer, his body heat almost too much for Dean to bear- whether because it was too hot, too close, or because it wasn't nearly close enough, Dean couldn't tell.Cas ran a hand down Dean's chest, slipping under the collar of his shirt to brush tantalizingly against his skin.Something like a whimper escaped from Dean's lips.He was on fire from the electricity of Cas' touch, the flames consuming him from the inside out, dancing under his skin.He moaned again and tugged at the fae, needing- needing something, he didn't even fucking know what.

Needing Cas.

"Cas," he whispered against the skin of Cas' jaw.They were just _kissing_ , and already he was aching and breathless and desperate."Cas, I need... _fuck_ -"

"Dean," Cas said, and at the sound of his name in Cas' familiar gravelly voice, made even rougher by the waves of want crushing them both, that was it.At the sound of Cas' voice, Dean was drowning in whatever the hell this was, and he couldn't bring himself to care.

It didn't matter that Dean was human and Cas was fae.It didn't matter what was to come in just under an hour, what they were up against, the prospect of death looming over both of them.It didn't even matter what was expected of Dean if he ever got out of this alive, what dad would say if he ever found out.None of the myriad of reasons they shouldn't be doing this stopped them from pulling at each other's clothes, trying desperately to reach the skin beneath.It didn't stop Cas from straddling Dean's lap to get a better angle, so that they both gasped as their cocks slid together.It didn't stop Dean from whimpering and pushing his hips into Cas' until the rhythm they found began teasing the fire into an inferno.It didn't stop pleasure from buzzing deep in Dean's spine, building and building until he could hardly stand it.

It didn't stop Cas' from whispering in his ear, his voice completely wrecked, "Dean Winchester, I've loved you from the moment I first saw you."

The pleasure broke into a wave, rushing through Dean with all the force of an earthquake and its aftershocks all at once.He buried his face in Cas' neck as he came, breathing in the sharp, unique scent of his skin and riding the wave as best he could.

Cas' movements became more frantic and irregular, and then he was coming as well.Dean watched his face closely.Something about the way his bright eyes flashed even brighter, the fevered heat under his skin built to almost unbearable levels, made joy flicker in Dean's heart in a way completely unrelated to the aftermath of his orgasm.

Dean smiled at him as the ecstasy in his expression faded to mere bliss.Cas grinned lazily in return and leaned forward to kiss him, more sweetly than Dean would have thought possible.

"Thank you," Cas murmured against his lips.

"For what?"

Cas' smile was both dazzlingly beautiful and impossibly sad, and suddenly the rest of the world broke into the little bubble they'd managed to maintain.Dean swallowed, wishing that they could go back to just a minute ago, when he didn't realize what it was Cas was saying to him.A goodbye.

"For everything," Cas said, and kissed him again.

***

The Dance of the Union was winding to a close as Castiel and Dean approached the main square once more.Cas glanced at Dean, hidden beneath his cloak again- hidden to the other fae, at least.Cas could see every inch of him, the soft pink still lingering in his cheeks, the swollen and tender skin of his lips, the bruises blooming on his neck and collarbone that Castiel had left with teeth and tongue.Cas felt his breath catch at the sight; but the surge of renewed desire left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Dean was planning to die tonight, and Castiel might not be able to save him.

His fingers itched to touch Dean again- not just for the joy of it, but to grip him tight and _drag_ him back to the portal, forcibly push him through if necessary.But Dean would never go willingly.He'd fight him all the way, drawing attention to them and getting them killed without accomplishing anything at all.No, the best chance he had of saving Dean was by helping him save Sam, and then getting them both through the portal together before sealing the passages between the worlds forever.

As for the other itch tugging at him...Cas swallowed.They were either about to die, or be separated forever.The threat of imminent death did strange things to people.Despite the ache in his heart rationalizing otherwise, he knew that it was far more likely that Dean had kissed him simply as a last hurrah before they died, not because he felt the same way.Dean had never wanted Cas the was that Cas wanted him, and he had no reason to think that had suddenly changed.Not after all this time.

A piercing shriek interrupted his musings.He looked up at the celebration sharply.That was the sound of an _ennesa_ defending its territory, but they shouldn't be hearing that _now_ , not unless...

With a sinking heart he found the cause of the commotion in the crowd.An _ennesa_ was sinking its claws into another, moving into a defensive position in front of the human they had claimed as a pet.

In front of Sam.

Dean started forward from next to him.Cas barely caught him by the arm, heart hammering in the same panic that was in Dean's eyes."Wait," Castiel hissed."They can't do anything to him yet.There will still be a trial."

"But look at him," Dean snapped quietly, pointing at his brother."He's waking up, _look_."

Cas stared.Sam was blinking, looking around with dawning terror, a feat of strength that Cas had thought nearly impossible.Sam began inching away from the fight that had broken out in front of him, his eyes flicking through the crowd to find an escape.The fight must have done for him what Castiel had been counting on the trial to do.Without his patron's attention, the spell on him was weak enough that he'd come back to himself.

"Wait here," Cas told Dean, as firmly as he possibly could.Dean stared wide-eyed at the impromptu battle growing in the middle of the courtyard; to his surprise, Dean nodded.

He didn't wait to ponder Dean's sudden obedience.He pushed his way through the crowd gathering around the fight.The other fae were packed densely around the unexpected violence, screaming their approval and jostling for a better view.Cas forced his way between them determinedly, using his wings to clear gaps just large enough for him to squeeze between.He kept his eyes trained on Sam, who was encountering the same problem as he tried to escape.No one had noticed the errant human in their midst yet, but it was only a matter of time if Cas couldn't get there first.

When Cas was just a few feet away, Sam turned his head and caught sight of him.Shock, relief, and determination flashed across his face as he mouthed _Cas_ under the din of the crowd.He changed directions, weaving as best he could toward Cas.

Castiel saw trouble the instant before it happened.Sam brushed past a fae who looked utterly unremarkable next to all the others, jostling the fae just a little too much.The fae turned his head with agonizing slowness towards the source of the distraction.

Cas was still too far away to do anything to stop it.All he could do was watch as Lucifer, Prince of Nawwe, greatest of the greater fae, second only to Michael in power, laid eyes on the escaping human and seized him by the arm.

Lucifer threw out his wings, massive waves of energy that stunned any lesser fae in their path.The crowd silenced abruptly, leaving just the sound of Sam's screams and the burning hand clasped around his forearm."Well, well, what have we here?" Lucifer asked, his voice clearly audible throughout the entire courtyard.Castiel found himself rooted to the spot in response to its ultimate authority; with an effort he wrenched himself free of Lucifer's thrall and tried to push his way closer."This one is rather feisty," Lucifer continued, examining Sam head to toe."I would enjoy breaking him, I think."

Sam shuddered in Lucifer's grip, and then fell still, his face going slack yet again.Castiel watched in horror as Lucifer plucked control of Sam effortlessly from the will of the lesser fae, claiming him without ever even needing a trial.Greater fae rarely took pets at Awntiad; but when they did, no _ennesa_ ever dared to challenge their claim.If Lucifer took Sam uncontested, Castiel and Dean would never get the chance to free him.

Cas swallowed and glanced back at Dean.The human, his best friend, his love, was watching Sam with a mixture of horror and bleak determination.Dean was going to keep fighting until the bitter end, even if it meant he died trying.There was only one thing that Cas could do to save Dean and his brother.

He let his eyes linger on Dean for one last, eternal second, before turning resolutely away.

"I claim this tribute as my own!" he shouted.He pushed through the last few feet of the crowd and clasped his hands around Sam's unresponsive arm, just above Lucifer's.The ritual words swirled around him and poured through the skin to skin contact.He flinched as the power of Lucifer's claim surged against his own; but he was no _ennesa_ , and he had far more at stake here than just a pet.He gritted his teeth and bore down.

" _You_ are challenging me?" Lucifer said, looking more amused than anything else."Why not go home now and spare yourself some pain, fledgeling, because you will not win this battle."

Castiel clenched his jaw."I claim this tribute as my own," he repeated, tightening his grip.

Nearby, the crowd parted, not by the fae's own will but by another, much more powerful one.Castiel bowed to Michael as he approached, keeping his hand firmly connected to Sam's arm.Lucifer merely inclined his head; the gesture was more mocking than anything else.

"Castiel," Michael said.He looked him up and down with piercing eyes."You intend to fight in order to possess this human?"

Cas swallowed, resisting the urge to look back at Dean."I do, brother," he said.

"Brother, this is highly unusual," Lucifer said."Call off your little bird and let me take my prize in peace."

Michael smirked."It is highly unusual," he agreed.His voice was even quieter than Lucifer's, but Castiel knew that everyone in the entire square could hear him as if he was standing right next to them."But I see no reason why you should not have to work for your pets just like everyone else.Besides, with two greater fae challenging one another, this Awntiad will certainly be a night to remember.I for one am eager to see it, as soon as possible."He raised his voice into a command."The trial will commence in ten minutes.Make the hall ready for the challenge."

Instantly, the frozen _ennesa_ around Cas sprang into action.They pried Sam away from the two death grips around his arms, taking him away to the designated holding area while the others prepared the hall for the trial.Lucifer remained still for a long moment, taking the measure of Castiel and smirking at what he saw; finally, he turned away, leaving Cas alone to face exactly what he'd just gotten himself into.

***

Dean grabbed Cas as soon as the throngs of fae surrounding him receded.Cas gave him a small, sad smile when he noticed him; Dean refused to be taken in by the peace in his expression.

"What the hell was that?" he hissed, struggling to keep his voice down.The cloak kept him hidden, but that didn't mean the fae were deaf."We had a plan, you can't just-"

Cas interrupted him by grabbing his lapels and pulling him in for a kiss.Dean didn't bother trying to resist, just let Cas' lips press against his own with a bruising strength, enough to make Dean breathless and speechless when Cas finally moved away."I'm sorry, Dean," Cas said, grief seeping into his tone despite his valiant attempt at a normal expression.

Dean swallowed, his lips still tingling with the force of the kiss."Sorry for what?" he managed."Cas, what's going on?"

"Lucifer is very powerful," Cas told him, smoothing the rumbled front of Dean's cloak with trembling fingers."No one would have challenged him if I hadn't stepped in, and you never would have gotten a chance to save Sam.So I... I had to give you the chance."

Dean stared at him, at the fear and determination in his eyes."How- how powerful is Lucifer, then?" he asked quietly."Can you take him?Win Sam for me?"But he already knew the answer.If no one would ever challenge Lucifer, there had to be a good reason.

Cas didn't reply, just kissed Dean again, more tenderly than Dean had ever been kissed.He pulled back just far enough for his eyes to wander over Dean's face, like he was memorizing it.Dean's stomach rolled with nausea."Save your brother and close the portals," Cas whispered."Live a long, happy life with Sam and Jo and Ellen and Bobby, get married and have kids, all of it.A happy, normal life.Promise me."

"Cas-"

" _Promise_ me."

Dean looked down, grief settling in his chest like a stone, ready for an extended stay.He'd spent the last four years separated from Cas by his own idiocy and stubbornness, and yet he couldn't imagine living without him for one more second.

He did his best to smile at his best friend."Okay, Cas.I promise."

Neither one of them mentioned that it was a promise that Dean couldn't keep.Cas nodded, a small smile breaking out across his face; and with one last, burning kiss, Cas disappeared into the crowd to fight for Sam's life.

* * *

 

**_Excerpt from_ _The History of Creation_ _as told by Michael_ **

_There are powers in these mortal worlds that were not created there.They appear as portals, as ancient rings of magic held captive by primitive temples, as objects too dangerous to be held by just anyone.Perhaps there were more powers left behind by Father Cosmos and Mother Earth than we can find today, but many if not most of them have been lost to time, perhaps destroyed and perhaps merely hidden._

_Of these remnants of our Parents, the objects of power are the most dangerous.The Fae Key that controls the opening of the portals remains within good hands, of course, and will never be relinquished.However, other we have records of other objects left behind that are not so securely kept: any encounter with one should be reported, in order to preserve the safety of our people._

_The Transcendent was the object used by Father Cosmos to create the portals between the realm of the fae and the human world.With the Transcendent, one would have no need of the Fae Key, and could open or close a portal at will; of all the objects of power, this is one that we know has not been destroyed but rather lost.Father Cosmos entrusted it with Ramiel when he left us, as a safeguard should the humans ever try to enter Nawwe.But when Ramiel was killed in the conflict between nawesiel and ennesa and his possessions looted, the Transcendent was taken to the ennesa encampment, and then later stolen by human trespassers who likely did not know of its power.It's whereabouts now are unknown, but we must remain vigilant that someday it will reappear, and we will have control of it once again._

* * *

 

**11\. THEN**

Dean glared at the target with its perfect cluster of arrows in the center and strung another arrow.He sighted the target and pulled the string back to his ear, but he didn't loose the arrow.He felt the tension from the string traveling up his arms and down his shoulders and back, the arrow quivering with it's need to burst forward and slice through the air.He didn't oblige it.Instead he held position until his muscles were burning, until his hands were shaking too badly for him to aim properly, until the string was beginning to fray at the ends.Finally, he lowered the bow, so slowly that he imagined he could hear his body screaming at him to just release.The arrow tumbled gracelessly to the ground instead of flying through the air, and Dean looked down at his red and white striped hands.

In one violent, impulsive movement, he lifted the bow and cracked it on his knee.

The sharp crack and the sudden pain were satisfying; the relatively unharmed frame of the bow was not.Dean cracked it on his knee again, and again, then beat it against the ground over and over and over again, until all he was holding were splinters that had once been a weapon.

He looked at the remnants of his bow and sank to the ground.It didn't even matter that he'd broken this one.He had plenty of other bows the choose from, all of them made at Lord John Winchester's request to aid them in saving his youngest son.

"Goddammit," Dean muttered, ignoring the tears in his eyes.Dad should be here.He should be home with his sons today of all days, to comfort Sam and to tell Dean what to do, how to stop this from happening, because Dean didn't know, couldn't figure out what he could even hope to accomplish.All these years of training, his whole life- what good was any of it if he didn't know how to use it?What good was he if he still couldn't figure out how to save Sam?

He heard the clatter in the distance without understanding it.He kept his head bowed, his fingers twisting a piece of wood around despite the splinters digging into his skin.It didn't matter.He didn't matter.Not today; not anymore.

The clatter grew louder, accompanied with the relieved snort of a horse finally coming home.Dean leapt to his feet, his heart in his throat- he was here, he was here, _he came home_ \- and bolted for the front gate.

"Dad!" he shouted as he caught sight of the horse and rider.The horse looked exhausted, its withers covered in sweat, and its rider even more so.The rider barely stirred as Dean approached; John's head was bowed and his face pale.One hand clutched at his side, and the other cradled something to his chest."Dad!" Dean shouted again, this time in worry.

John lifted his head slowly, oh so slowly, and Dean nearly tripped over his own feet when he saw the bleakness in his eyes."Dean," John said.His voice was slurred slightly with exhaustion and pain.The hand clutching his side was covered in blood.

"Shit," Dean said, looking at the wound.It was bad, really bad."Shit shit shit- dad just stay with me, okay?I'm gonna get you to Ellen, she'll patch you up, c'mon-"He began to lead the horse through the gate, calling for help in a tone he hoped wasn't too panicked.

"Dean," John said again, more forcefully this time.Dean turned and gave him a weak smile.

"Can you get off the horse on your own?" he asked, reaching a hand out to help support in whatever way his dad needed.

Instead of leaning into him, John put something in his hand.Whatever it was, it was wrapped in cloth, and much heavier than Dean expected.He nearly dropped it; and in the short moments it took him to keep it from dropping out of his grip, John had swung down from the horse on his own.He was clinging to the horse's bridle to keep upright, but his eyes were sharp and piercing as he looked at his son.

"I found this," he said."I told you, about the legends I was chasing- they were chasing them too.They got there the same time that I did, and I could barely keep them from killing me, they're so strong-"

"Dad, you need to rest, you need to get your wound-"

John leaned forward and put a heavy hand on Dean's shoulder.His eyes were burning with something, maybe a fever from an infection, or maybe just desperation."I have to tell you _now_ , before it's too late," he snapped.

Dean swallowed and stood up straighter."Yes sir," he mumbled, trying to keep the worry from his expression.

"We got to the cave at the same time," John said."They wanted it bad, but I was able to reach it first, and steal it right from under their noses.They've been after me for ages now, but I caught them all in a trap of my own, so they couldn't warn the others what we're going to do."

"The fae?" Dean said.His heart began to pound with what might have been hope."You found something to help Sam?"

The determined look in John's eyes receded slightly, shadowed by something else entire.His hand slipped off of Dean's shoulder."No, I didn't," he said quietly."This is for us.For Mary."

Dean frowned."What are you-"

"Unwrap it."

Dean hesitated, but did as he was told.The fabric turned out to be a cloak of some nondescript color, wrapped around- "A ball?" Dean asked incredulously.

"A spell," John corrected him."One of the only objects of power left over from the ancient days when gods walked the earth, or so the stories say, something to end the conflict between humans and fae.The human legends stop there, but I was able to get close to the fae that were chasing me, and I learned a great deal more about it."He looked around as if someone might be listening, though Dean couldn't see how a fae could spy on them in broad daylight in the middle of a deserted courtyard.John's face was getting paler by the minute; he would bleed out soon if Dean didn't do something to help him."It's a spell to close the portals," John murmured."All of them, permanently."

Dean's mouth fell open."What?Close the portals, how is that even-"

"Listen to me Dean," his dad interrupted."We don't have much time.The spell won't work from this side of the portals.Only from the realm of the fae.I'm injured, I can't go in, but you can.You can go through the portal that we know will be opening in just a few hours, and you can slam the doors shut behind you."

Dean stared at him.His ears were ringing so loudly he could barely hear what John was saying.He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.He tried again."Sam," he croaked.

John looked away.The suspicion in Dean's heart hardened into fear.

"We're going save Sam though, right?" Dean said, more loudly."We'll- we'll close the portals now, before Sam gets pulled through-"

John was shaking his head.Dean choked on his own breath, drowning on dry land.This wasn't possible.The whole point of this was to save Sam.They had to save Sam.They couldn't just- dad wouldn't-

"The only way you'll be able to get into the realm of the fae is if you follow your brother in," John said quietly.

"He'll be trapped in there," Dean said."I'll be- we'll be trapped, if the portals are closed, how are we supposed to get home?How am I supposed to save Sam if I'm trapping him with the enemy, this isn't-"He couldn't remember how to speak, how to explain the ridiculousness of this plan.They had to save Sam.That was the whole point.

"You don't think this is hard for me too?" John said quietly."I looked, Dean, I looked for years, but there's nothing.There's no way to save someone who's been Marked."

"So we're just going to give up?" Dean said, not caring that he was almost shouting.He could hear movement nearby, somebody finally coming to help John with his injuries."Instead of saving Sam we're just going to kill him instead, is that it?"

"This is bigger than that, Dean!" John shouted.Dean flinched, unable to look his father in the eye."We have a once-in-a-lifetime chance here to rid the world of fae _forever_.No one will ever lose a loved one to a fae trap or their goddamn Mark, because they will be _gone_.That is worth more than Sam's life, that my life, than _your_ life, don't you understand?Sam was lost the moment that unclean creature touched him, and he is _never_ going to be saved!"

The courtyard rang with silence.Dean felt his chest moving up and down but he couldn't hear his own breath, his own heartbeat.If Sam was lost, then Dean was too.He might as well be dead already.

"You have to do this, Dean," John said in a quieter tone.He was panting and clutching the wound in his side, his face ghostly pale."Get rid of those bastards once and for all."

Dean swallowed and looked down at his hands, the scratches and bruises where the bow and broken against them."Yes sir," he said quietly."What's the plan?"

John sagged with relief and clapped him on the shoulder.Dean led him inside the castle to find Ellen, so that maybe one member of the Winchester family might survive this.

As John explained the details, Dean felt his heart harden with pain and desperation.It wasn't true that Sam was lost- there he was, standing at the foot of the stairs with a worried expression as Dean helped their father through the hall.Sam could still be saved, Dean was sure of it.He had to save him.He had to.

He clutched the metal sphere tightly in his hand.

* * *

 

**_Excerpt from_ _The Epic of Anael_ _, author unknown_**

_Anael stood firm against the onslaught_  
_of violence, stood bravely_  
_never lifting a finger._  
_"Fight back," the sorcerer snapped,_  
_for he was loathe to kill_  
_without first toying with his prey._

_"I will not," Anael said._  
_"I have only my words_  
_and my heart to defend against you,_  
_yet I will always triumph_  
_against those like you."_

_The sorcerer howled in anger and_  
_forgetting his game, attacked._  
_And yet Anael stood firm_  
_even as blood dripped from her wounds_  
_and her spirit began to fail her._

_Anael stood firm, only her words_  
_and her heart to defend her_  
_even as the sorcerer prepared the fatal blow._  
_He lifted his arm to strike_  
_and there was a flash of dying light,_  
_not from Anael but from Bazriel's blade_  
_sunk deep in the sorcerer's breast._

* * *

 

**12\. NOW**

The fae flooded into a nearby hall with Dean hidden in their midst, barely able to keep from being trampled as he gaped at his surroundings.Strategically laid mirrors lined the entirety of the walls, ceiling, and floor, so that the room reflected on into infinite reaches of the universe.The fae moved with unnatural speed into some predetermined order that repeated over and over into the infinities of the mirrors.Dean managed to push to the front of the crowd amidst the confusion; from this vantage, he had a perfect view of Cas and Lucifer and their mirrored duplicates facing each other at the center of a perfectly round clearing in the crowd.

The other fae quieted suddenly, and for no reason that Dean could tell.But after a moment of looking around in confusion, he saw it too: the two fae in the center were spreading their wings.

Lucifer's wings were magnificent; there was no other word for them.They stretched far above his head in layers and layers of colored lightning, of raging wildfires that flooded the courtyard with heat, of quietly burning starlight.Next to Lucifer, Cs and his human-sized and modestly vibrant wings looked decidedly unimpressive, small, weak.Lucifer knew it, too: he smirked at his opponent, and his wings gave one great beat that shook the air and blew the breath out of Dean's lungs.Cas just looked at him with a steely expression, apparently unperturbed by the display of dominance.

For a long time, nothing happened.The crowd was utterly silent, without even a rustle of movement among them to reflect into the endless mirrors around them.Cas and Lucifer stood facing each other with their wings spread, so still that Dean was pretty sure neither one of them was breathing.Maybe fae didn't need to breathe.

As the silence and the stillness went on, the tension in the air grew and grew until it was so thick that it had moved past the stage when it could be cut with a knife.Now it was strangling, painful, and almost visible flickering in the air between the two fae.

When they did move, it was almost too fast for Dean to see.One second, Lucifer and Cas were just staring at each other.The next, there was a flash of silver, and Lucifer was bleeding as Cas darted away, holding a bloodied fae sword.

Lucifer's lip curled into a sneer as he took note of his new injury.It didn't seem very deep- didn't keep him from moving even faster than Cas had, and suddenly Cas was smashing into the ground so hard that the smooth glass surface shattered beneath him.Something flickered in the air around him again, and this time Dean was pretty sure that it was more than just tension.Cas rolled out of the way just in time as the air itself exploded where he'd been just seconds before.He spread his wings and let the shock of air push him forward to slash at Lucifer again, his wings closing at the last second to blind his opponent.Lucifer escaped Cas' grasp with another cut across his chest; he snarled and retaliated with another terrifying feat of strength that sent Cas crashing into the broken glass.

It became clear to Dean as the fight went on just how outmatched Cas was.He'd always seemed so indestructible and so powerful when they were kids together; but now, with Cas being thrown around like a rag doll, Dean could see for the first time just how vulnerable his friend really was.

But despite everything, despite Lucifer's clear advantage, Cas was holding his own, barely.He was smaller than Lucifer, but that meant he was quicker as well.Lucifer's large wings got in his way just as often as they helped; Cas used that to his advantage, darting behind the monstrous wings to cut Lucifer, speeding away again when Lucifer swept his wings out to crush Cas beneath their weight.Soon the larger fae was covered in shallow wounds, insignificant on their own but together enough to slow him down just a little bit more.

It was only when Lucifer got a hold of Cas that the smaller fae lost whatever edge he'd been clinging to.The sound of Cas' first scream of pain pierced the silence of the hall like a dagger to the heart.

Dean flinched away as Lucifer clawed through one of Cas' wings when Cas managed to slip out of his grasp, bruised and bleeding and broken.There was no way Cas was going to survive this.Lucifer was going to kill him, and there was nothing Dean could do to stop it.

As he flinched away, his gaze caught on the sidelines and his breath stopped in his chest.Sam.Sam was standing there.And he was completely unguarded, all fae attention diverted to the fight rather than the prize being fought over.

Dean could still do this.He could save his brother, no matter what happened to Cas.

He had promised after all.

He eased his way through the crowd, struggling not to jostle anyone.It was still eerily quiet amongst the fae.He could hear every blow that landed, every whimper of gasping breath that Cas gave.He stumbled with Cas screamed again, Dean's own breath catching at the sound.There were tears streaming down his face, but he kept walking.He had to save Sam.It was the only thing he could do.

Sam didn't notice him as he approached.He was staring straight forward, unmoving and unseeing.Cas had said that the spell's hold on him would be weakest during the trial.Dean prayed that he'd been right as he reached out to grab his brother's arm.

"Sam," he hissed quietly."We gotta go, come on."

Slowly, oh so slowly, Sam turned his head to look at Dean.His eyes were dazed and absent.His brown furrowed in confusion as he finally focused on Dean's face.

"It's me, Sam," Dean said, squeezing Sam's arm reassuringly."It's Dean."

"...Dean," Sam repeated, and Dean let out a sigh of relief.

That relief was swallowed in sharp, sudden pain as Sam slammed his fist into Dean's face.

***

Cas struggled to his feet, avoiding another explosion of grace only to be caught by a powerful sweep of Lucifer's wings.Glass pierced his skin as he crashed back into the ground, but he could barely feel it on top of everything else that had happened to him.There was no part of his body that wasn't in pain.If he had been human, he most certainly would have died by now; as it was, one of his wings dragged uselessly on the ground, bleeding grace onto the broken mirrors, and he could barely move his legs or his right arm.

Lucifer was toying with him, he knew.He would have been dead a thousand times over if Lucifer wasn't so amused by his struggles.Castiel could only pray that Lucifer remained entertained by his pain, despite the traitorous hope deep in his heart that Lucifer would end it quickly.But he couldn't allow that to happen, had to keep struggling as long as he possibly could.The longer the trial lasted, and the more damage he caused to Lucifer, the better Dean's chances were of saving Sam.

Lucifer laughed as Cas pulled himself to his feet once again, gripping his blade tightly in his left hand."Won't you just give up, fledgeling?" Lucifer said, almost kindly."No pet is worth your life."

Castiel spat the blood seeping into his mouth."Is he worth yours?" he said.He probably sounded more pathetic than impressive, but that wasn't the point.This fight wasn't the point, merely the distraction.

Lucifer opened his mouth to answer him, but stopped, looking away with a frown.

Cas saw his chance.With every ounce of strength he had left, he staggered forward, blade raised to land a killing blow.But his eyes strayed, just briefly, towards whatever had distracted Lucifer, and he found himself frozen instead.

Dean had reached Sam during the fight- but while the trial had weakened Lucifer's hold on Sam, it wasn't nearly enough.Sam was still firmly under Lucifer's control, and he was beating Dean to death.

"Dean," Cas breathed involuntarily.Sam was going to kill his brother, Cas had to do something, had to save him- "Dean!"He rushed forward unthinkingly.Dean had to survive this, he _had_ to-

A burning grip closed around his throat, lifting him into the air with the force of it.His blade clattered to the ground as he choked and clawed at Lucifer's hand, but the other fae barely seemed to notice.Lucifer peered into Castiel's face, all his former amusement and kindness stripped away into pure disgust.

"So that's what this is about," Lucifer spat."This isn't over some little pet, is it?You actually _care_ about a human.How repulsive."He threw Cas to the ground.Castiel heard a snap, and he knew that one of his legs was now broken.He couldn't even feel it under the overwhelming pain all over his body.

Lucifer bent over him, digging his fingers carelessly in Cas' wounds."You know, I've heard about you, little bird," he said, his tone conversational as he tortured Cas."Naomi complains about you constantly, and my brother Michael hasn't been too kind either."His fingers twisted, and Castiel nearly missed his next words under the waves of pain."They said that you're broken, unsuitable for fae society, and that despite their very best efforts, they could never seem to fix you.If it had been me, I probably would have given you the benefit of the doubt at least, but I guess this proves that they were right about you.Blood will always tell, and here's the proof of that right now."

Cas blinked struggling to understand him.Blood with tell.What did that mean?

He didn't realize he'd spoken out loud until Lucifer laughed in delight."You mean they never told you?" he asked, grabbing Castiel's face roughly to get a better look at it."Those poor, misguided fools."He leaned in close like he was about to impart an important secret."You aren't really a fae, little bird," Lucifer crooned."Your father was a fae, it's true, but your mother?Nothing but a weak, sniveling, disgusting human.Just a _pet_.So you see, I'm about to do us all a favor by getting rid of you.You sympathize with the humans, and you are _worse_ than a human, and we will all be better off without you tainting our graces."

Cas stared at him, uncomprehending as Lucifer raised his blade.None of it made any sense, but it didn't matter.He squeezed his eyes shut as Lucifer swung the blade down toward his heart.

***

Dean couldn't think through the pain, couldn't defend himself as blow after blow rained down on him.Every crash of Sam's fist against his skin was laden with the strength of a fae, leaving nothing of Sam himself behind those dead eyes.Sam would keep beating him until he died, and wouldn't spare a second glance for his dead body.He was going to be killed by the brother he'd lived his life trying to protect.Maybe it was fitting, then, that he would die when he failed to protect him.

"Sammy," he rasped.The blows rained down on him without pause."It's okay, Sammy," he mumbled.Like he'd said all those years ago, cradling his brother in his arms while their mother burned."It's okay, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

Something flickered across Sam's face, disappearing as Sam slammed his fist once again against Dean's jaw.He gathered Dean's lapel, hauling him up for another blow- but the blow never came.He stood, frozen, staring at Dean with that same blank expression.

"Sammy-" Dean said.

The hand holding him released him to the ground.Sam stumbled backwards with a gasp.

"Dean?"

Dean had never heard a more beautiful sound in his whole life.He struggled to his feet, trying to give Sam a reassuring smile through the searing pain pouring through his body."Yeah, Sam, it's me," he said."Come on, we gotta go."

Sam didn't seem to hear him.He just stared, his hands closing into fists and opening again, over and over and over again.The blankness- the spell- came and went from his eyes.Dean swallowed as Sam stepped toward him again.

"Sam-" he began.

Sam's eyes snapped to the side- toward the fight.A trembling determination filled his expression.Dean reached forward, but Sam was gone, staggering through the crowd to enter the ring."Sam!" Dean shouted.

There was a fae sword lying abandoned on the ground, amongst the ruined remains of the hall's floor.Lucifer didn't see Sam snatch it up and head towards him; all the fae's attention was on Cas lying helpless in front of him and flinching away from the killing blow that Lucifer was about to land.

Sam stabbed the fae sword through Lucifer's heart with one precise, desperate motion.

Dean shielded his eyes from the blinding flash of light.As it faded, he blinked at what had been the arena, where Sam stood over the body of his captor, totally free of the spell once and for all.

Dean only had a brief moment to marvel, to understand what had just happened.Hands were suddenly grabbing his arms roughly, tugging him forward with no regard for his fresh injuries.He turned his head, trying to catch sight of Sam as the fae dragged them both forward.Sam was struggling against their grip, but without the fae spell, all he had was ordinary, human strength.

The fae left Cas where he lay, and Dean felt despair constricting his throat at the sight.

"A most interesting Awntiad, indeed," one of the fae said.Dean swallowed and would have stepped back if he could.It was the same fae as before, the imposing and authoritative fae that both Lucifer and Cas had deferred to with a touch of fear in their eyes.He was looking at the two humans with disgust in his face."First a trial between two _nawesiel_ , and then the pet in contestation kills my brother on its own.Not to mention a free human somehow sneaking into our realm as well."The fae shook his head, surveying Sam and Dean with cold eyes."This is unacceptable.If the humans think that they can interfere with us, they are severely mistaken."He looked at the crowd gathered around them, pitching his voice to be heard by everyone, hard and commanding."The humans need to be taught a lesson," he said."Starting with these two.Kill them and display their bodies in the human realm, where all may see what the fae are capable of.We'll tear the human dominion down bit by bit until those beasts no longer dare to even _breathe_ without our-"

Another bright flash of light cut through his speech.The fae holding Sam dropped to the ground, dead, with Cas standing over him.

The fae launched themselves at him, but Cas was faster despite all his injuries.He snatched Dean from the fae's grip and grabbed Sam, shouting, "Hold on!"That was their only warning before they launched into the night sky.

Dean's stomach lurched as he clung desperately to Cas.He closed his eyes against the stinging wind.Cas' wings pumped unevenly next to him, both of them bleeding but still moving them through the air- one of them better than the other.

A gust of wind pushed past them, and they wobbled in the air.Dean looked at Cas, panic clenching in his gut; Cas' face was bloodless, the determination in his expression weakening as he lost more and more blood.

They wavered again.One of Cas' wings wasn't flying properly, couldn't support the weight of one person, let alone three.Another gust of wind was all it took for his injured wing to collapse entirely, and to send them hurtling to the ground.

Dean couldn't even feel the impact; all he could feel was numbness creeping into his limbs as he looked into utter blackness.He felt like he was floating, not flying still but just... existing.

"Dean?" Sam gasped, jolting him back to reality- and pain."Dean, are you okay?Cas?"

Dean groaned, struggling to move his broken body.It wasn't utter blackness he was looking at, just the night sky.Sam was on his knees next to him, looking mostly unscathed.Of course, Sam was the only one of the three of them who hadn't been beaten half to death."I'm fine," Dean grunted, pushing himself into a sitting position.Walking would be out of the question for at least a few more minutes, but he wasn't dead, and that was something.

"Dean," he heard.He looked down next to him, and swallowed a gasp at the sight of Cas lying next to him, bleeding and panting against the agony of his injuries.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Dean asked weakly.He dragged himself closer to the fae, pointedly not looking at the broken angle of Cas' leg, the tears in his wings, the blood and bruises and deep wounds covering every inch of him.

Cas didn't answer him, just turned his head slowly, oh so slowly to the side, to look at something behind Sam.

Dean looked over and blinked in surprise.He knew this place: the courtyard where he and Cas had waited just a little while ago.It felt like years, not hours or minutes.

Something bright was beginning to glow behind a screen of emerald leaves behind Sam.Something blue-white, something familiar, something miraculous.The portal home.

"Sam," Dean said urgently.He reached into his pocket and pulled out the sphere that had miraculously remained inside and intact.They could do this.They could win.

Sam looked back and his eyes widened.He turned back to Dean, his gaze catching on the sphere in Dean's hands."You and dad came up with a plan, didn't you," he said."You're not going to-"

"I have to stay here to work the spell," Dean said.He held Sam's eyes, trying to show him how important this was."Once I'm done, all the portals between our world and the fae's will be closed."

"Like hell am I leaving you in here-"

"I have to do this," Dean interrupted."I can't let them have the keys to our worlds for whenever they feel like invading.Besides, dad said-"

"Screw dad!I'm not leaving you here to die!"

"Dean," Cas breathed."Go through... the portal with Sam...I'll do the spell... stay behind..."

"That's not happening," Dean snapped."Sam, you're taking Cas through the portal, and I'm going to-"

Cas coughed, something like a chuckle choking him."Gonna die anyway," he mumbled."Might as well... finish what we started... while I'm... at it."

"You are _not_ going to die," Dean snarled.He could hear voices coming closer, fae coming to find them and kill all of them while they bickered about who would die and who would live.They didn't have time for this.He staggered to his feet and pushed Sam toward the portal."Go," he said firmly."I'll- I'll be right behind you if I can."

"Dean-"

He fixed Sam with a look."I have to do this, Sam," he said quietly."I can't have that normal life you wanted for me, but you _can_.So go have it."He gave Sam a crooked smile."And hell, we don't know what'll happen once I slam these fuckers down.It could be that everything human will get thrown back into their own world anyway."

Sam swallowed and finally, finally relented.He clapped Dean lightly on the shoulder and took a step back, and another, and another.Dean smiled at him until he disappeared into the bright white light of the portal.He'd done it.He'd saved Sam.Serenity washed over him.No matter what happened to him now, it didn't matter.He'd done his job.Now he could rest.

"Dean-" Cas whispered, and his serenity cracked just a little bit.It wasn't about him and Sam anymore, not really.It was about Cas as well, who had given everything he had and more for Dean, who was lying broken and bleeding on the ground because of Dean.His Cas.

"Hey," Dean murmured, kneeling down next to him.The voices and shouts and wingbeats were getting louder, getting closer.They didn't have much time."I'm gonna get you through the portal, and then close it, alright?Sam will take care of you, I promise."

Cas started shaking his head before Dean had even finished talking."No," he rasped."There's no time.And if you're staying, then I am too."

"Cas, I can't just-"

"Shut up and kiss me, Dean Winchester," Cas said.Dean swallowed and brushed his lips against Cas', so gently he could barely feel it.Cas sighed, his eyes drifting closed.His face was deathly pale behind the bruises and blood.He might not survive the next few minutes, let alone another confrontation with the fae."Alright," Cas continued softly after a moment."Seal the portals."

"Cas-"

Cas looked at him with those bright blue eyes."We'll be fine," he murmured."We're together, right?So we'll be fine."

Dean's heart clenched painfully in his chest.He took one of Cas' hands, though he wasn't sure that Cas could even feel it."Right," he said.He pressed a kiss to Cas' forehead, and gripped the sphere more tightly in his hand."I'll be Anael this time, yeah?"

Cas smiled."Alright," he breathed.

Dean took a deep breath, and began the spell to save the world.

***

"Dean?Dean!"

Someone was shaking him, calling for him, but it was nearly impossible to drag himself out from the darkness.It occurred to him dimly that maybe he didn't even want to emerge from that comforting cocoon.He remembered... there had been a bright flash of light surrounding him, piercing him, blinding him.If he let go of the darkness, that burning, searing light might take him again.Better to just stay here, no matter what Sam said.

Sam.

"Sammy?" he mumbled.The pressure on his shoulders increased as the hands gripping them tightened.

"Yeah, Dean, it's me," Sam said, relief pouring from his voice in a comforting wave.If Sam was alright, then maybe the light wouldn't be too bad.

He opened his eyes.

It was bright, but not from the unnatural light that had engulfed him before.This was a warmer, gentler light, one that caressed Dean in green and gold and blue through the shifting breeze.

The forest.He was back in the forest.He turned his head and saw a familiar tree, a worn log just wide enough for two boys to sit on, a riot of flowers that had grown from the presence of a fae.

Cas.This was his and Cas' meeting spot from all those years ago.Then that must mean...He turned his head the other direction and found it, the almost invisible ring of stones that outlined the portal to the realm of the fae.

He'd made it back.Somehow, he'd made it back home.

"Sam-" he muttered, sitting up with much more ease than he expected.The cuts and bruises and broken bones he'd gotten in the realm of the fae where gone, vanished like they had never even existed, leaving only a general stiffness and an ache in the center of his chest.He frowned at his hands- even the old scar he'd gotten when he was ten years old and not careful enough with an arrow was gone."Sam, what happened?"

Sam held out a hand like he was going to steady him, then thought better of it."I'm not... I'm not sure," he said.Dean looked up at him and gasped.The Mark of the Fae, the shiny scar that had proclaimed Sam's curse for all to see for nearly eighteen years was gone.Vanished, as if it had never plagued their lives, as if the doom that had lingered over their family for so long had dissolved in a gentle wind."I came out of the portal, and then... and then there was a flash of light, brighter than the portal had been, even, and when I could see again, you were just lying there.I think..."Sam hesitated, gauging Dean's reaction."I think it worked," he said quietly."The portals closed, and it did what you said it might.It spit anything human out of there as it closed."

"What?" Dean said, not caring that he was gaping like an idiot."But that wasn't- I was _lying_ about that, I didn't think it would actually-"

Anything human.Dean, the human tributes and pets- anything _human_.

Not Cas.

Cas.

"Oh fuck," Dean whispered.He leaned over and retched onto the ground.

"Dean?" Sam asked, worry creasing his brow.

"Fuck," Dean said again, coughing through the biting aftertaste in his mouth."Fuck, Cas.He was dying, and I just- fuck, I have to- I have to go back, I have to save him-"He pushed himself to his knees, feeling the supernatural ache in his chest widening like a chasm inside him, threatening to pull him back into the blackness again, but it didn't matter because Cas was still trapped in the realm of the fae and it was _his fault_.

"Dean, the portals are closed!" Sam said, grabbing his shoulder."You can't go back, I'm sorry."

"But I have to," Dean said desperately."I have to save him, I can't just let them kill him, all alone-"

"Dean."

"-we have to find a way, Sam," Dean said, tears beginning to leak down his cheeks."I can't let him die for me-"

"Dean!"

Sam was staring wide-eyed at a spot somewhere over Dean's shoulder, and the urgency in his voice suddenly clicked in Dean's exhausted mind.He turned, knowing he didn't have the strength to deal with whatever was coming, not without Cas here to help hold him up-

Except that Cas _was_ here, lying on the ground a few feet away, half-hidden by the undergrowth.

Cas was _here_.

Dean rushed to his feet and stumbled over, tears still staining his cheeks but what did he care, Cas was _here_ , Cas was alive, Cas was-

He touched Cas' shoulder and the knowledge burned through him the way that Cas' touch used to.Cas' chest moved up and down to breathe in the way that fae didn't need to.His eyes, flickering open and then closed again, were still blue; but they lacked the bright glow they had once held.

Human.Cas was human now.

"What the-" Dean murmured.He touched Cas' cheek without thinking.Cas sighed, still unconscious, and leaned into the touch."He's...Sam, he's human.How is he human?How is this fucking possible?"

Sam crouched next to him."Maybe he's always been human," he murmured.

Dean frowned."What?Cas was never-"

"Think about it, Dean," Sam said."He shouldn't have been able to come through to our world in the daytime, but he did.Plus, dad put up all that warding around the castle and the village, but he passed through without a problem.Maybe... maybe he has human blood, or something.The spell spit him out because of it, and made him fully human in the process."

Dean stared at his brother uncomprehendingly.He opened his mouth to ask Sam what the fuck he was saying, but a rustle interrupted his thoughts.

"Dean?"

He looked down and his heart squeezed.Cas' human eyes were fixed on him, still beautiful despite the loss of the fae glow."Hey Cas," he said.

"What's... where are we?" Cas murmured, looking around the forest in total bewilderment.

Dean laughed in pure relief, surprising all three of them.But he couldn't help it.For the time being, at least, Sam was safe.Cas was safe- Cas was _human_ \- and he could stay with Dean.Maybe even forever.The fae were locked away, and maybe, just maybe, the world could be as it should be, for the first time since Dean was four years old.

"We're home," he said with a smile.

 


End file.
